5 REASONS WHY WE GERMANS HATE OUR FAMOUS AUTOBAHN.

It is every petrolhead’s life goal to drive on the famous unrestricted German Autobahn. But we Germans have to use these roads every day. And so, over the years, we found many things we hate about it.

German Perfectionist

14 Mar 2017

5 REASONS WHY WE GERMANS HATE OUR FAMOUS AUTOBAHN.

1. They are in horrible condition

The first Autobahns were built out of concrete slabs. Sure, many Autobahns were rebuilt and are now made out of tarmac, but especially where I live (in the south of Germany, near Munich) they are still made out of concrete. This causes a very bumpy ride, and, what’s even worse, it’s a safety issue. Because as soon as the temperatures reach 30°C, the concrete extends and folds up. These are called ‘Blow-Ups’, and many bikers lost there lives when hitting these things at speed. BUT HEY, no problem, the German government has found the perfect solution for that: Just replace stripes of the concrete with tarmac, so it can extend without breaking up. This obviously makes the ride even worse… And then there’s the noise. While other Autobahns are already made out of a special noise-reducing tarmac, these rough concrete slabs make a hell of a noise.
I know that the situation gets better the further north you get in Germany, as they rebuilt them from North to South. But that leads me onto the next big problem.

2. Roadworks take forever

You remember that Top Gear Episode where the guys were challenged to renovate a road in 24 Hours? Well I bet the German government didn’t watch it.

Let me give you an example. Pretty close to where I live, there is the A94. It was designed to connect Munich and Passau, a distance of 155km. But since today, only 70km are in use. Why? Because the rest isn’t built yet, or because there are still discussions with the land owners. And, believe it or not, they have been working on this f*cking piece of road for MORE THAN 30 YEARS NOW. And it’s estimated to be finished by 2025 (which means it’s not gonna be finished before 2035). So almost 50 years for 155km of road. We are super angry about that, as a big part of the traffic drives through our village instead.

Let me give you another example, just to clarify how incredibly long this build time is. We go on vacation to Croatia every year, and we are always amazed by the progress they have made in one year. Last year for example, we discovered a new ‘Autobahn’ which seemed to lead through the entire country, and we were sure that it hadn’t been there last year. And guess what: It included several tunnels, bridges, and was built on uneven wasteland. And it was made out of proper tarmac. IN ONE F*CKING YEAR.

So, why are do the roadworks in Germany take that long? The workers only work from about 9 to 16 o’clock. And not on Saturdays or Sundays. The safety procedures take for ever. And when you actually see someone work, there are at least three people standing next to him, with cigarettes, watching him do the work.

Oh, and of course, the speed limits also exist on the weekends and in the night because they are too lazy to cover the signs. Which brings me onto my next point.

3. Unrestricted? Hahaha!

The Autobahn is most famous for the fact that you can go as fast as you want. But that’s actually very rare. The speed on the Autobahn is almost always restricted to 120 km/h (75mph). And then there’s the roadworks, which we talked about earlier, where you have to drive 60km/h (37mph).
And there are many other options to slow us down. For example, ‘Schleudergefahr’. Often used when the road is wet, but sometimes also when it’s completely dry, this advises you to go slow because otherwise you might spin out. It’s great fun going 60 on a dry Autobahn…

4. Traffic jams

Traffic jams are common on every high-speed road. And especially on the Autobahn. Every morning, every evening. And guess which city had the most traffic jams in 2016? - Munich.

5. There are way too many idiots on the road

Let me just list a few of them:
Lane hogs, especially in the middle lane.
BMW drivers who pull up behind you with flashing lights, ready to push your trunk into your glovebox.
Idiots who change lanes without using their indicators.
And I could continue for ever.

The worst possible thing: So called Elephant races. A truck overtaking another truck, with 1/10th of a km/h of speed difference. The German law says that these overtaking maneuvers which often block the entire Autobahn may only take 45 seconds. But seriously, who’s gonna control this? No lorry driver seems to give a sh*t about that.

So, that’s it for now.
Don’t get me wrong, I am happy that we have an Autobahn here, but nothing is perfect, and so criticism should be allowed.

Tobi aka The Stig’s German Cousin

Comments

Nice post, and I agree with everything, except the roadworks part. In Croatia, they started building that Autobahn in 70s, and it is still not done. In first 30 years, they build only 40km, and then in early 00s they done really good job, building almost 400km of masterpiece. Sadly, because of corruption, it was paid waaaay more than it should be, and now Croatian economy is really f*cked up…

There goes the dream..😭
Now I gotta scratch it off the bucket list..

Next time you go to Croatia, come to Mali Lošinj, if you already haven’t ;)

Slow road construction exists almost everywhere. Take where I live for example; the main road into Tromsø, Norway (E8) currently goes straight through a village (Ramfjorden), with the speed you might expect through a residential area (60 KM/h). It has been this way since the road was built in 1962. In the late seventies it became clear that the capacity of the road was inadequate, and in the early eighties it was decided that a new road should be built. Since then, the politicians have argued which side of the fjord the road should be on. They haven’t even started building the road yet, as since the location was decided two years ago, the argument now is how the road should be financed (tolls or not). The way it looks now, they might start building the road next year (but that remains to be seen), and is set to be finished some time in the next decade. Maybe…

That what a whiny German sounds like who picked the worst possible examples.
Road works take their time (as anywhere except Japan?!) but in general you allowed to do 80 kph (~50mph) and most of the traffic is doing ~60mph.
I never experienced point (1) and it seems to be a local problem near this guy. It was only one really hot summer in the news.
Sadly it’s true there are many routes limited to 120 kph but as I can recall 80% of this speed limit is cause by “slow” traffic doing about 130 kph (~80 mph [?]).
In general I didn’t encounter many drivers doing 200+ kph. My 125hp Ford isn’t the fastest one but able to do 220 kph. Any fast typical fast traffic (from my observation) is going around 160 - 180 kph. Most people don’t feel save over 140-150 kph (~90mph) anyway.
If you expect to do this during rush hour, you are just stupid. So point (4) is to be expected, but only at rush hour or people commuting home for the weekend.
Regarding point (5)… yes, that’s true… lorries and other slow overtaking traffic is the hell. An many people seem to forget you should always drive in the right lane, only when you are overtaking.
But whining about the German Autobahn seems unfair. But the should introduce a minimum speeds for each lane. Outside lane the general minimum of 60 kph and the inside lane a minimum of 150 kph. This would help a lot, keeping the traffic at similar speeds and increasing the safety. :-)

Im sure these are all very frustrating (especially that one road thats taken 30 years so far) but most of these are problems had all over the world (how long has the M3 had works on it now?!). I’ve driven British, French, Czech, Belgian and German highways. German roads are by for the best of those. Smoothest, most clearly sign posted etc. But the main thing is the German’s lane discipline. It is ON POINT! I love German roads, coming back to the UK and driving caused me a lot of mental anguish to begin with xD

Yes, critism is important, but I only see you writing about cliches. Munich area conditions are not representative for all of Germany at all… Of course you do always have heavy traffic when you live in the Munich area. That of course leads to streets being worn out.
Still major parts of the streets surrounding the area are almost brandnew and awesome. Just went Munich - Stuttgart two weeks ago. Late Sunday even - and there was plenty of “raceway” available.