The Tesla Model S Is An Instant-Torque Hero And Proof That Us Petrolheads Have Nothing To Fear

Generally speaking, if a car has over 400lb ft of torque, it feels like a punchy so-and-so when you start to prod it with a stick. It’s something I thought I was rather used to, but when giving it the beans for the first time in a Tesla Model S recently, I was in for a bit of a shock. Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last couple of years, you’ll know the Model S is an electric vehicle - EV for short - which means the 443lb ft of torque in the livelier 410bhp P85 version is delivered instantly.

It’s all spookily quiet, too. When you pull off, the drivetrain makes absolutely no noise at all

And, my word, that doesn’t half make a difference. It kicks you up the backside and spits you down the road with utter venom. I’ve experienced the whole ‘instant torque’ thing before with BMW’s i3 EV, but that has just 184lb ft on offer, giving a more ‘ooh, that’s a bit swift’ feeling, as opposed to the Tesla’s ‘holy hell, where did that come from?’ It’ll get you from 0-62mph in just 4.4 seconds, without any pausing for gearchanges - the Model S has just one forward gear.

It’s all spookily quiet, too. When you pull off, the drivetrain makes absolutely no noise at all. Under heavy acceleration you get a faint whirring sound, but that’s it, save for the tyre noise, which is low anyway thanks to the car’s good sound-proofing.

With the gubbins for the electric drivetrain buried deep within the chassis, the centre of gravity for the Model S is very low. This means when you start taking liberties in the corners, it doesn’t behave like a 5-series-sized saloon ought to. It’s unbelievably poised, with ridiculous levels of grip. Throughout my time with the car, the most I managed was a minute squirm from the rear, and that took some doing. The steering, meanwhile, is quick and well weighted, but a little too numb in feeling.

The EV benefits continue on the inside, where there’s no engine and gearbox to ruin the packaging. The floor is flat with no transmission tunnel to get in the way, while the absence of an engine allows for a decent-sized luggage compartment under the bonnet, and for the steering wheel and dash to be mounted much further forward. This means more space in the back, and room for a couple of small rear-facing kid-sized seats in the boot. Yes, that makes the Model S a kind of seven-seat saloon.

The giant touchscreen in the dash takes some getting used to - it looks a bit like the car has shared the teleporter from The Fly with an iPad - but it’s nice to use, and being able to display a ruddy great Google maps window for navigation is rather useful.

Tesla has - rather wisely - borrowed much of the switchgear from Mercedes rather than go down the complicated and costly route of developing its own, and that’s not a bad set of knobs and switches to have. The interior’s not all good, though; our test car had a particularly nasty-looking chunk of carbonfibre trim in the dashboard, which had a disappointingly dull finish, while some of the materials elsewhere on the dash aren’t all that nice.

The lack of noise isn’t the issue you might think it is - if anything, its seemingly unnatural absence adds to the experience

I’m not a fan of the exterior, either. It’s certainly not ugly, but given the revolutionary step forward the Model S represents for EVs - and the £69,080 price tag for this range-topping model - you’d think the styling might have a few more radical touches than it does. It’s too bland and inoffensive.

On the whole, though, the Tesla is a hugely impressive thing. We only had an hour with the car so weren’t able to find out what it’s actually like to live with a Model S - a very important aspect of an EV which we’ll be testing in due course - but on the driving front, the Tesla excels.

The lack of noise isn’t the issue you might think it is - if anything, its seemingly unnatural absence adds to the experience. It’s a completely different way of going fast, and if this really is the future of fast cars, you can consider me sold.