10 Horrifically Ironic Car Names
1. Suzuki Esteem
‘Esteem’? Really?
2. Kia Pride
Kias are great cars these days, but this box of misery from the 90s isn’t something you’d take ‘Pride’ in.
3. Suzuki Swift
Yes, I know there have been fast Suzuki Swifts - you can still buy the Swift Sport, and the older Cultus-related Swifts even had GTI editions - but most are really, really slow. Does 0-60mph in 17.4 seconds sound ‘Swift’ to you?
4. Skoda Rapid
On a similar theme to the Swift, we have the Rapid from Skoda. And with the post powerful putting out a mere 120bhp from a 1.4-litre engine, ‘rapid’ it ain’t. Then there’s the old Rapid, which manages to puff out just 54bhp from its carbureted 1.3-litre engine.
5. Oldsmobile Achieva
As so well put by CTzen CLShifter, this car “achieved nothing bar accelerating the death of Oldsmobile.”
6. Daewoo Racer
The Daewoo Racer is the ironic gift that keeps on giving. It’s another name occasionally given for the ambitiously titled Daewoo ‘Le Mans’, a car which was sometimes called the ‘Heaven’. If this is what heaven looks like, sign me up to hell right now.
OK, so this one’s a brand name and not a model, but still: ‘Brilliance’ was not a word that came to mind when watching the BS6 fold like paper during this 2007 crash test.
8. Mitsubishi Carisma
I genuinely can’t think of a car with less charisma than this.
9. Mini Countryman
The Mini brand as a whole got a lot of mentions on our original community question, but since the whole supermini sector it’s aiming for has gotten rather bloated (just compare a first-gen Ford Fiesta with the current one and you’ll see what I mean), we aren’t going to call the BMW subsidiary out for its mildly ironic use of the word ‘mini’.
However, where it is stretched too far (figuratively and literally) is when the name Mini is applied to the definitely not mini Countryman. And just look at it. Not exactly an oil painting, is it?
10. Hyundai Excel
Here’s a car that doesn’t excel at anything. Other than being dull.
Any more you can think of? Get to the comments!
Growing up on a diet of World Rally Championship highlights and lengthy Gran Turismo 2 sessions, a life in cars was as good as inevitable for Matt.
Comments
Ummm I think you forgot the Skoda Superb. It’s seemingly the opposite of superb according to Jezza
How ‘bout Ferrari La Ferrari? Which, if you don’t know, translates roughly to,
The Ferrari…
Gijs Dekkers Lel
MINI. Current MINIs are anything but MINI.
Number 1 and number 10 are Baleno and Pony in Europe,i don’t know which is worse.
The Ferrari 512 BB (Berlinetta Boxer) would come to my mind. It may have the word Boxer in its name to celebrate that it has a 12 cylinder boxer engine under the hood but in reality it hasn’t. That is just a 180° V12.
The nissan sunny? Don’t know about you, but I only saw ones that looked like they just came out of a heavy storm.
About the 0-60 on the swift: For which generation & engine is the time? Because mine did it in 12ish seconds with the old 8V 1.3.
Ahhh… the Carisma.
For those that have none.
Nissan Maxima. cuz why not to call it after most disgusted supermarket franchise who murder and humiliate pepole. (outside Baltic region pepole might not understand irony)