3 Ways To Dominate The Boxing Day Sales

Newsflash: desperate shoppers queued through the night to take advantage of the iconic Boxing Day sales. This means that they've got an unfair advantage (you just woke up, didn't you), but what they certainly don't have are one of three ultimate Boxing Day vehicles, which will ensure you get through the crowds faster than most:

1. South African Car Flamethrower

Exactly 14 years ago, the world's media reported on a new weapon against car crime. The country? South Africa, Johannesburg. The weapon? Fire, obviously.

In the car jacking capital of the world, this 3900 rand (approx. £350) conversion would "definitely blind a person" according to 'Blaster' inventor Charl Fourie. He added:

"This is definitely non-lethal.... A person is not going to stand there for a minute while you roast him. It will fend off the attacker, and that's the end of it."

And the best bit? Absolutely no damage to your car's paint. Genius.

In at number 2, is a vehicle you can drive into the shops for a spot of trouble-free Boxing Day shopping. While we don't usually condone the use of bikes (even 'professionals' screw up the simplest of tasks) here's one we'll let slide...

As you can see in the video, the randomness of this bike's projectiles is sure to make the shopping experience more exciting and will certainly disperse the crowd from this year's must-have Boxing Day bargain. All you need for a conversion like this is a pair of pliars, some wires and a crap soundtrack to make your ears bleed.

3. SWAT Vehicle

Right, no more messing around. SWAT trucks are the be all and end all of a proper American stand-off. They're armoured, come equipped with tactical and 'breaching' tools and are bomb, blast and even Boxing Day sales proof.

Buy yourself an Alpine Armoring SWAT model and you're laughing. Alpine's Ron Leffler summed up SWAT vehicles nicely when Jalopnik's Matt Hardigree paid them a visit back in 2011:

If you're a bad guy and you see this rolling up, you may start to reconsider the bad choices you've made in your life.

This obviously applies to crazed Boxing day shoppers, too!

What would be your weapon of choice?