5 Cars That Would Crash More If They Were RWD

For the sake of transparency, yes I own a Mustang. This is actually my third steed, and I’m happy to report that none of them attacked trousers, loafers or pasty white legs belonging to spectators at car shows. It wasn’t for lack of trying mind you - one of those Mustangs had 500bhp and a tendency to smoke the hides in second every time I sneezed. I sneezed a lot.

I’ll also proudly admit that, as a current Mustang owner, I think the apocalyptic Mustangs-crashing-into-everything memes are positively freaking hilarious. Not everyone shares my amusement; I know a few Mustang people who are terrifically butthurt over the whole thing and launch into a tirade whenever someone dares to poke some fun. To you folks out there who take such things so seriously, chill out a little. Nobody is attacking you personally, and it’s not as if there isn’t any evidence to suggest Mustangs crash. A lot.

Some cars are easier to drive than others, but what we’re really dealing with here is ego. It’s the only thing that can render both experience and common sense utterly useless, and when you throw in rear-wheel drive, things get interesting. It might surprise you to learn that some Mustang drivers have rather large egos, in the same way it might be surprising to learn that apple juice comes from apples. But there are other cars driven by petrolheads with similar reps, and I bet they would be just as internet-infamous if they sent their power rewards….

Subaru’s humble economy car with boost is awesome. In the United States they’ve also become quite common, and I can’t help but notice a wee bit of Asshattery Syndrome from the more enthusiastic Scooby drivers. What is Asshattery Syndrome you ask? It stems from the Latin term douchis extremi cluelessani, which commonly refers to the need for loud exhaust and constant WOT acceleration at every opportunity, without consideration of consequences.

Road conditions matter not. Traffic conditions matter not. Only through the grace of all-wheel drive are these vehicles spared the shame of regular contact with crowds and oncoming traffic. Curiously, I haven’t observed the same behaviour patterns from camp Evo. I guess there’s something to be said for rarity; either that or the Evo is just a far better performer driven by properly skilled enthusiasts. Shots fired!

The car I love to hate is already subjected to more than its fair share of collisions. That’s because ego isn’t the only driving force behind the Grand Am’s penchant for punishment, though I am consistently amazed at its ratio of driver smugness versus performance capability. It’s the quintessential car for broke young Americans seeking something sporty without understanding the definition of sporty.

That means it faces trials from drivers on two fronts - those with aspirations of racing their Grand Am in NASCAR, and those with aspirations of drinking their latte, texting on the phone, and cranking up Taylor Swift all at the same time. After all, the Grand Am is a sweet ride; those are the things you do when your car is just too cool for the masses.

In defence of the Diamond Star twins and their owners, things have improved over the years. However, there’s still a Fast and Furious vibe that surrounds these cars, notably the first two generations and if they were rear-wheel drive cars, you’d see all kinds of Eclipse/Talon cock ups. Aside from a starring role in the first F&F film, my theory for this is that Eclipse and Talon drivers in the States suffer from a bit of Evo envy.

I’m not saying they have something to prove, but the Evo crowd seems a bit more, shall we say, secure with their place in the performance hierarchy. Maybe if the US didn’t start with the Evo VII, the Eclipse and Talon would’ve enjoyed slightly less exciting lives.

I’m going to get a bit specific here and single out the pedestrian Integra models over the sizzling Type R, simply because the few Type R owners I’ve met were down-to-earth petrolheads. As for the cars with the GSR/JDM/B16182022/R-Type/V-Type/R2-D2 engine swaps - if they were turning the rear wheels they’d be wrapped around more trees than every hardcore environmentalist in the Northwest United States.

You wouldn’t see too many videos though, because they’d only come out for the late-night street races, where they’d undoubtedly lose control and mow over spectators like their lawn-mowing brethren.

You had to know this was coming. I haven’t conducted an official count, but I suspect there are actually more videos of Civics crashing on YouTube than Mustangs, and that’s with front-wheel drive. Why is that? Is it because Civics are cheap to buy and can be found everywhere? Is it because they have a huge aftermarket? Is it because Civic drivers suffer from Asshattery Syndrome? Is it all of the above? Actually, no. It’s because Civics are the Japanese version of the Ford Mustang.

Wait, what?

In the United States, no other car better represents the push back against American muscle than the Honda Civic. Thing is, what started as an attempt to be different from the status quo actually became the status quo, right down to the drivers’ cocky demeanour. Enter ego, exit judgement, and suddenly you have Civics trying to drift on narrow public roads. Silly Civic driver, that’s what AE86 Corollas are for.