6 Slowest, Most Expensive Cars Money Can Buy

Earlier this week, we revealed that as little as £13,000 will land you a car capable of exceeding 200mph. Buy new, and you’d struggle to net a poverty-spec’ Ford Focus for that amount. Today, we’re turning the tables. We’ve dusted off the old Casio to bring you the seven of the worst value cars, in terms of top speed.

For everyone’s sake, and to keep the Veyron (£7,751 per mph for the SuperSport) from occupying the first five entries, we’ve restricted the list to cars which are currently on sale (or ones that will be soon) and are capable of no more than 120mph. All prices quoted are for top spec’ models.

7. Aston Martin Cygnet

Toyota’s iQ is already on the expensive side given its diminutive dimensions, but that didn’t stop Aston Martin from grafting on their signature grille and more than doubling the £14,000 sticker price. It’s not without appeal, mind. It’s finished to the same exacting standards as regular Aston Martins, and has found favour among existing Aston owners who need another, smaller car, but don’t want to sacrifice the Aston badge. With an asking price of £32,115 each of its 106mph will cost you £303.

6. Nissan Leaf

The darling of electric car fanatics the world over, Nissan’s Leaf makes a compelling case for itself against traditional hatchbacks, providing everywhere you ever drive is within its claimed 109-mile range. Along with the traditional issues associated with electric car ownership, i.e. range anxiety, is the price. The Leaf is as near as makes no difference £30,000 before the government’s £5,000 grant. This earns it a pounds-per-mph figure of £317.

5. Mitsubishi i-MiEV

The second of three electric cars on this list. As if being seen in one wasn’t bad enough, Mitsubishi’s i-MiEV will set you back a massive £29,000 before the government grant. That amount of dough could buy you a CT-favourite, the BMW M135i. Or 44,000 Tesco Value lasagnas, themselves infinitely more preferable to an i-MiEV. Regardless of what meat they happen to contain. Each of the i-MiEV’s lackadaisical 81mph will set you back £358.

4. Morgan Plus 4

It seems as though Morgan’s Plus 4 has been around for centuries. Richard III had two, you know. Nowadays, the four-seater convertible will set you back a little over £40,000. For your money, you get a desirable, sub-ton piece of traditional English hand-craftsmanship direct from the gorgeous Malvern Hills. A 2.0-litre Ford four-pot makes 145bhp, with 60 arriving in 7.5 seconds and a max speed of 110mph. For the fastest car on this list, you’ll pay at least £365 per mph.

3. Vauxhall Ampera

Love ‘em or loathe ‘em, you have to admit, the Vauxhall Ampera and Chevy Volt are technically very impressive, if a little bling for UK streets. Fundamentally, they’re hybrids, although not in the traditional sense. Whereas a Prius uses its electric motor to bolster its engine, the Volt/Ampera uses the engine to keep its batteries continuously charged. Clever, but at a price. A loaded Ampera Electron is nearly £40,000 all told. £390 per mph.

2. Land Rover Discovery 4

Let me paint you a little picture. Having just collected his new Disco’, my Father rolls up to a major roundabout on his evening commute. With only 34 miles on the odometer, the engine cuts out, and cannot be restarted. It spends the next two weeks at the dealer, where it breaks down on the technicians seven, yes seven times. The Discovery; big, expensive and slow, but somehow rather likable. A £57,750 HSE manages 112mph, that’s a massive £517 per mph.

1. Mercedes-Benz G63 AMG 6x6

When you’ve picked your jaw back up off the floor, get a load of these numbers. 536bhp, 3775kg, six 37in tyres and a 0-60 time of six seconds. This is the G63 6x6 in a nutshell - possibly the most epic Merc’ ever to have seen the light of day, and one of the most expensive. The 20 lucky people who are expected to pick one up when the car goes on sale will have to foot a £350,000 bill. With a top speed limited to just 100mph, that’s £3,500 per mph. But do you care? Really?

Any cars not on this list you think we've missed?