BMW M5 Pickup: The Ultimate Tool For The Everyman

Why limit the BMW M5 to fast families? Let’s make it available as a utilitarian work tool, too…

18 May 2015

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Drive by any building site and you’ll spot an abundance of pickup trucks, vans and clapped out estates, which are brimmed with bricks, piled full of power tools and caked in carcinogenic crap.

Trouble is, when the working week is out, it’s exactly these motors that lay dormant while Dave, Steve and Barry switch to their expensive weekend wheels for B-road blasts and trips to the in-laws.

As you’ve probably guessed, CT is here for you. And because it’s the season of downsizing, we've created the ultimate one vehicle for all tasks; introducing the BMW M5 pickup truck.

It makes sense. Vauxhall does it with its two-fingers-in-the-sky Maloo pickup, so let’s spice up the market with some BMW brutality. Remember, the Maloo is a 6.2-litre V8 rear-drive monster that’ll punish 60mph in 4.9sec before topping out at a limited 155mph.

Based on the current BMW M5, the limited edition pickup version (just 150 units worldwide) will prove a worthy (and domineering) adversary to the Maloo. At the front of the M5 pickup lies the same 542bhp, 4.4-litre V8 unit, which powers the rear rubbers via a 7-spd DCT gearbox. A six-speed manual ‘box will be available for the manliest of men, unlike the current saloon version.

The Important Changes

While the M5 pickup retains the same 4910mm length and 1891mm width, substantial changes are made to the rear suspension, including stiffer springs, uprated dampers and thicker anti-roll bars. Why? This is an M5 that has a rear load carrying capacity of 550kg (1213lbs) and room enough for 26 golf bags. A trailer tow hitch naturally features at the rear, and wide 20-inch ContiSportContact 5P tyres come as standard.

With the absence of the saloon silhouette and despite strengthening beams, metal-tread cladding and a bolt-down tool chest (£1300 option), the M5 pickup tips the scales at 1890kg (4167lbs) some 55kg under the current super-saloon model.

A removable Targa roof reduces weight further by 23kg and lowers the model's centre of gravity. In its lightest form (roof removed and tool chest unbolted) the derestricted M5 pickup will reach 194mph. 0-62mph is dispatched in 4.3sec (like the standard car), while its increased drag coefficient increases CO2 emissions slightly from 232g/km to 246g/km CO2.

The M5 pickup's two-passenger cabin features the same equipment as the standard model, but also includes a carbonfibre commemorative badge on the dashboard, and dual-purpose floor mats, which can be flipped over to reveal easy-wipe rubber for work days on site.

Like the Vauxhall Maloo, the BMW M5 pickup would be priced with a small premium of around £4500, with prices starting from £77,565 for the manual version and £79,145 for the 7-spd DCT model.

Now you've heard our business plan, what do you think? We'll let BMW know either way.