This Bottom-Feeding Thief Boasts About His Car Crime, Then Gets Pwned

Thieves. They're just scum, aren't they? You come out to your car in the morning, only to find some bottom-feeding nobjockey has had away with bits of it.

This is exactly what happened to a Bristolian Snap-On representative, who found £40,000 worth of tools (around two ratchet spanners at Snap-On's rates) had been stolen from his van by what looked like a thief using a can-opener.

Upon phoning the police, he found they'd already recovered the tools and arrested two guys, but had no idea where they'd come from. His mate posted the story on the internet and that's where it all should have ended.

The thief, Jason Griffiths, had other ideas. Fresh out of prison for the offence, he registered on the same forum and boasted how easy the crime and the punishment were. (Bear with the few grammar inaccuracies):

well it wont a giant tin opener used it was a recking bar dissconected battery wot a **** alarm system well might of got caught 3 in the morning by the feds but if i dint see the fedi would of been the new snap on tool man in town worth the 2 months prison sentance did it standing on my head best bit about it when the police open up my van doors the tools fell on ther feet

Hell hath no fury like the internet. In 2 hours, his name, address, e-mail address and phone number were public knowledge. Two more hours, and his Facebook (now made private), eBay account and several jobseeking classifieds - where he described himself as "very onest" - were in the public domain.

By the next day he was a local anti-celebrity in the Bath Chronicle as he insisted he wasn't being boastful, merely offering van owners advice on security to prevent them becoming victims of crime... And then the memes started:

You can read the full story and have your say on lancerregister.com.