Buy This Car Phone-Equipped BMW 735i For The Same Price As An iPhone X

£995. That’s what you’ll have to pay to buy the newly-revealed iPhone X in the UK. It’s a staggering amount of money, so what I’d like to do is present you with an alternative. No, really - what you’re looking at here is a phone. It’s just a phone that just happens to have a BMW 735i attached to it.

Let’s gloss over the fact that the car phone in this E38 probably won’t work any more, and that a cheap 7er of this vintage could be ruinously expensive to run, because it’s being sold for - you guessed it - £995 (update: since dropped to £895, so it’s actually cheaper than an iPhone). A bargain, no?

You may not be able to unlock it with your own face, but who cares - that’s a substantial amount of car for the money. It’s also achingly cool - just imagine how awesome you’ll look swanning around in this beige-trimmed beauty.

The classified advert is full of car selling cliches, like how the 144,000 miles on the clock mean it’s “just run in for one of these cars,” and how it has “all the toys,” but we are helpfully told there is at least some sort of service history. The MOT being due in November is a worry, however - we don’t want to imagine how big the bill will be required for it to pass the next test.

With a lot of weight to shift, the 3.5-litre naturally-aspirated V8 under the bonnet allows for brisk rather than fast performance, managing the 0-60mph sprint in 8.4 seconds. It should sound good though, thanks to an aftermarket exhaust.

So, what will it be for you: an iPhone X, or a 19-year-old Bavarian luxobarge? Let us know in the comments, or if you have another used car gem you’d have over Apple’s latest smart phone, be sure to share it with us.