Gemballa Tornado 750 GTS: Ugly Defined

Ugly

• 1) Unpleasant or repulsive, especially in appearance, or: 2) Involving or likely to involve violence or other unpleasantness.

So this is the Tornado 750 GTS, Porsche tuner Gemballa Automobiltechnik's latest Cayenne mutation. It's been around since 2009, but to be honest, we weren't paying attention. Oops.

It was conceived, they say, to satisfy "the large amount of requests for a high performance sports car with the dimensions and the spacious interior of an SUV". Righty-ho.

Many of the body panels have been re-moulded in carbon fibre, and the front lip's been extended by 60mm to generate additional "downthrust" ("downforce" to you and I, although "downthrust' does sound a whole lot more interesting). The many and varied gashes direct air into the intercoolers and heat away from the engine. The bonnet, meanwhile, has been re-hinged to open sports-car style.

This reputedly "allows a better access to the engine", although we suspect it's Gemballa's way of saying: "Our engine mods' may've compromised the Cayenne's reliability somewhat. Sorry about that."

Speaking of engine mods', the Cayenne Turbo's motor has been bored out to 5.0-litres and now produces, you guessed it, 750bhp. Torque's up too, to a frankly astounding 775lb ft. We estimate that's enough to uproot a house, or thereabouts. Gemballa will even ditch the all-wheel drive system, if the customer so requests. 0-62mph takes 4.3 seconds, and the top speed stands at 186mph.

The price? £334,000. Unglaubwürdig!