Glimpse Into The Insane Future Of Car Tech With The New Mercedes S-Class

We love a good gadget at CT, and there aren’t many places where you find more tech squeezed into a smaller space than in some of the high-end luxury cars on the market right now.

I could start with the brand new Mercedes S-Class. It can drive itself, stop itself, steer itself, park itself, see in the dark, counter crosswinds, read and understand road signs, adapt its main beam headlight pattern to avoid dazzling anyone, give you six different kinds of massage, protect you even before you know you’re going to crash - the list is as long as it is mental.

A lot of this tech filters down the range over time. Go back to the luxo-barges of the late 90s and you’ll see stuff like air suspension and ventilated seats, which these days you can get on half-decent Citroens. Want to know what electronics your average hatchback will have in 15 years? Check out the latest executive shuttles.

Well, maybe you won’t see all of it on a Focus by 2028. Some of it is just way too advanced - and expensive. Take the new S-Class’s Magic Body Control for starters, where a 3D camera setup actively scans the road and pre-adjusts the suspension to suit whatever’s coming up. Wait... what? Unbelievable.

The real deal, though, is the latest technology that can drive the car without you. It doesn’t need your insignificant input, puny human. It’s not perfect yet, but temporarily at least you can let go of everything and watch the wheel turn itself in front of you. As long as there are clear lines marking out your lane, anyway.

Then there's the 2014 BMW 5-series, which has a system that takes full control in a traffic jam, accelerating, braking and keeping you in your lane completely on its own. The S-Class has the same deal, and basically in a jam you can do some paperwork or learn Esperanto. Whatever creams your cake, really.

Uwe Ernstberger, Vice President for the big Merc’s development, said at the launch: “With the new S-Class, Mercedes is launching the era of autonomous driving.” Volvo has been bleating on about the same thing. Thing is, as cool as it is...I'm not sure anybody really wants it. Or are we just being cynical?