Guilty Pleasures: Nissan's Retro Pike Cars

"Retro" is a dangerous word.

It's very much in fashion at the moment, but its application can be haphazard at best. Drape yourself in too much retro clothing and you can end up looking a bit of a twat. Well, I can at least - I'll admit others have more success.

Throw too much retro at a car, and you can end up with a compromised product. A MINI is lots of fun to drive, but has less rear seat space than the tiny original. A new Ford Mustang is a better car than the original ever was, but looks a little contrived next to a classic 'Stang.

People lap it up though, which is why you'll see MINIs and Fiat 500s everywhere (and Mustangs everywhere in the States).

None of these kicked off the retro car trend, though. For that, you have to look further back. To the late 1980s, in fact, when Nissan's Japanese 'Pike' factory churned out the Figaro, Pao, Be-1 and S-Cargo.

Car Throttle isn't a big fan of the Figaro. Its styling is likened to a Smeg fridge.

I have a confession, though: I don't mind it.

I like the other Pike factory cars, too. In all their 1960s-reimagined 1980s splendour. Chrome trim, pastel colours, cutesy details and all.

Since I have the floor, I suppose I'd better justify myself. Or at least attempt to.

I'm not sure I'd ever actually own any of the cars mentioned. The Vanessa Feltz connection is the kryptonite that keeps me away from the Figaro, for a start. I dearly hope she never buys anything truly desirable, like an Alfa Romeo 4C - the connection would probably sink the company once and for all in the UK.

And I'd totally agree with Mr Kersten's assertion that it's overpriced - it boggles the mind that people still fork out five grand or more for them. You can buy proper cars for that sort of dosh.

The Pao is an improvement though, looking ever so slightly like a Renault 4. It has that same basic charm, though it's as reliable as the Micra that lends its innards. And let's face it, it's more interesting than a Micra too.

Ditto the Be-1, which is also less overtly retro despite being a little older. And I like the S-Cargo for its name alone - a clever play on the word "escargot", French for "snail", and an homage to the Citroen 2CV - its nickname, "the tin snail".

None of these are good reasons to actually own a car, but they're surely good enough to justify liking one. I've never driven any of them - for all I know they may be utterly vile on the road, but the people staring at your unidentifiable little Nissan don't know that.

With the Pao and Figaro especially, they might think it's a genuine 1960s vehicle. That makes them automatically cool* to Average Joe. Far more so than a MINI, which makes you look like an estate agent. Or the Mustang, which makes you look a pillock, in the UK.

So, much as it pains me to admit it to you, I've a soft spot for these retro Japanese curios.

And now that they're all the best part of a quarter century old, they may even qualify as genuinely retro. You could drive them all without a hint of irony...

• Note: I may not the best judge of these things. I have a beard.