How To Go Sideways In A Merc CLS63 AMG

“And brake” said Paul, my instructor, as we approached the tight right-hander at the end of the straightaway. I ignored him for a fraction of a second, nudging 90mph before hitting the anchors. Hard. The ABS light blinked at me angrily, the tires squealing in protest as I guided the big ‘Benz CLS63 AMG through the apex.

Paul wasn’t unduly cross with me. How could he be? We’d spent the last hour together, gleefully studying the car’s idiosyncrasies, each of us sniggering in awe with every blip of the throttle, every bark of the exhaust, and every squeal of the (really very wide) tyres. Besides, he really did seem to be enjoying himself, almost as much as me in fact.

Mercedes-Benz World was constructed in 2006 aside the cracked and pitted remnants of Brooklands' once proud banking. The long driveway affords you an excellent view of the facility as you approach it. The car park, which is concealed behind the structure, usually contains a number of interesting motors, for 'Benz World houses Mercedes, Smart and Maybach dealerships alongside displays of important Mercedes past and present. I parked opposite a innocent looking ML, all be it with Brabus badging and bulging brake callipers, which itself was parked alongside a brand new SLS Roadster. Hiding behind a set of sturdy-looking gates was a trio of McLaren Mercedes SLRs and a couple of Maybachs, presumably awaiting a (probably quite pricy) service.

Venture inside and you're met with a gorgeous 1954 300SL, one of only six CLK GTR Convertibles, and a shiny-golden Geländewagen that looks as though it's come straight from the set of The Dictator. The remaining two floors contain dozens of Mercs, new and old. Especially interesting is the exploded Mercedes F1 car, suspended from the ceiling with high-tensile wires. Many of the newer Benzes on display are unlocked, the idea being potential customers can have a play around. In reality though a customer would have to wait his turn behind a gaggle of excited nine year-olds who, for some reason, can think of nothing more interesting to do than sit behind the wheel of an E220 CDI.

You’re advised to “check-in” 15 minutes before your experience - otherwise you’ll have no hope of completing the necessary paperwork (I may well have signed over my first born to them, in fact I probably did for all I know). Eventually though, the staff will escort you outside.

My CLS was parked-up between a couple of E-Classes. Merc’s worthy but dull Geneva Taxi-Cab is likable in its own right, but even with AMG’s usual trinketry, it possesses nowhere near as much visual clout as its svelte, four-door sibling. With only four seats (as opposed to the E’s five) and a marginally smaller boot, the CLS’ looks do come at the expense of practicality. That’s not to say it’s unusable as a four-door car though - I'm 6 foot tall and there was still plenty of room behind me for another comparatively sized adult.

Speaking of the Merc’s interior, the front seats are fantastic and are armed with a great range of adjustment and good levels of support in the bends. The steering-wheel is covered in grippy (and in this case rather worn) alcantara, and feels great in your hands.

Paul and I set off purposefully, the smaller of the two handling circuits firmly in our sights. Navigating Mercedes’ complex using 30-limited access roads afforded me a reasonable insight into what Merc’s four-door coupé would be like around town. My abiding memory is one of ease. Although it packs one hell of a punch, the throttle is easy to modulate, as are the brakes, and the steering is light yet precise and progressive. The seven-speed ‘box shifts cogs seamlessly in its default “Comfort” setting - even the standard “Stop-Start” system is smooth and unobtrusive. At every-day speeds, it’s no more difficult to drive than a C220 CDI.

After a few gentle laps of the tight and twisty handling track, Paul and I headed for the runway-like straight. It’s not long enough to build up any serious speed, even in a car that’ll hit 60 in 4.4 seconds, but that’s not the point. Paul asked me to accelerate up to 70 mph, and then stand on the brakes upon his instruction.

The enormity of the car’s power then proceeded to strike. Pinning the CLS63’s throttle is like standing on a bomb - a leather-lined bomb with sat-nav and massage seats. The 518 bhp, 5.5-litre biturbo V8 that was once my friend suddenly awoke from its slumber, and propelled me at a frightening pace along the tarmac. Before I knew it, Paul shouted “Stop!” - so I did. Our car wasn’t fitted with optional ceramic brake kit, but it still came to rest alarmingly quickly - flicking on its own hazard lights in the process. There’s nothing scarier than a car with too much power than its brakes can handle - the Jaguar XJ220 being a notable example - but fortunately, the CLS doesn’t suffer from a similar issue.

After a couple more runs, we turned around to try out the “Wet Straight”. It’s not often members of the public have the opportunity to try out such surfaces, which are usually only found behind sets of spiky gates and are only accessible to motor-industry test-drivers. Confusingly, these low friction surfaces don’t replicate “wet” conditions as their names would suggest - they’re actually much less grippy, more “icy”. The special tarmac and water jets do an excellent job of replicating snowy or icy driving conditions, and are therefore a perfect educational tool for drivers.

With the safety systems activated the CLS came to a controlled halt, still pointing in the direction in which I’d pointed it. Switch all the systems off, and the end result would be simultaneously more dramatic, but less safe.

The “Wet Skid Circle” is much more fun. After Paul had shown me how the car’s stability systems would help prevent the car from sliding (either from sliding wide, as in understeer, or spinning) we switched them off. In the interests of full disclosure, it’s worth mentioning that this was not my first time driving on such a surface. The last time I did it I was driving a C63 AMG Estate, and managed several consecutive laps sideways before my teenage exuberance got the better of me. This time, Paul and I concentrated on recovering from skids, and bringing the car bank into line, rather than continuous powersliding.

The majority of my hour with the CLS though was spent on the larger of the two handling circuits. It’s a tricky little circuit this, with a never-ending string of tight bends and a very short straight down which an SLS’ll only reach 100 or so. Paul was excellent at managing my driving - by the end of the hour, I had fallen into a fast but manageable rhythm.

The aptly named “Handling Circuit” enabled me to really lay into the CLS as I was able to drive the car in each of the different driving modes, “Comfort” (its default setting), “Sport” and “Sport +”. You’d never need go beyond “Comfort” on the road, however tempting it may be (“Sport” mode activates a horny blip from the throttle on the down-shifts - it pops and bangs on the overrun with the best of ‘em), but on the track it’s certainly worth twirling that little dial down by your left hand. “Sport” and “Sport +” modes incrementally stiffen up the chassis and suspension, letting the CLS bely its 1910kg curb-weight. The electronically-assisted steering weights up nicely, it’s quick, precise and confidence inspiring when you’re really hammering into a bend. Body-control is especially impressive at higher speeds; the CLS feels stable and safe, body-roll is kept to a minimum too (impressive considering the level of grip on offer).

Lastly - the engine. With the seven-speed single (wet) clutch ‘box in maximum attack mode, the big biturbo V8 is nothing short of a joy. Having pedaled a C-Class with the previous generation naturally aspirated 6.2, I felt reasonably qualified to proffer a comparison. The verdict? It’s still got it. Turbo-lag is all but imperceptible, the characterful bellow remains as breathtaking as before, and it’s massively torquey - although as happy as ever to rev out to its limiter.

The King is dead. Long live the King!

Want a go? Then hit up Mercedes-Benz World.