A Man Has Pooped Into His Own Hand In A Car Dealership, Then Wiped It All Over A Brand New Car

A man has smeared his own faeces down the side of a car right in the middle of a dealership – all because he was denied a financial reward for returning a set of allegedly lost keys.

Yep, that’s right: a 27-year-old human male, standing (or squatting) in a car dealership, actually curled one down into his own hand and then rubbed it along the side of a display car. The resident of Great Falls, Montana also punched a quarter panel of the car so hard he caused $1500 of damage. America is a wonderful place.

We don’t know which dealership or even which brand was involved (we’re using generic pics), but apparently after Bryce Steven Boos walked into the building and ‘returned’ some branded keys he says he found on the sidewalk, he asked for a reward – bad enough in itself.

For CTzens who aren’t British, asking for a reward after a good deed is, to us, one of the most uncivilised things a person can do, short of unloading your bowels into your furious grip and spreading yesterday’s breakfast all over a car.

Naturally, the police were called, at which point Boos freely admitted that he’d broken one off into his fist, smudged the world’s most heinous go-faster stripe down a brand new automobile and also punched a big dent in it. He then disputed that such things might be illegal. Clearly we’re not dealing with a stable individual, but at least he wasn’t carrying a gun.

The epilogue to this tale is that, after being cuffed and bundled into the back of a police car, Boos began beating his head repeatedly against the window until the cops had to remove him. He (oho!) faeces charges of felony criminal mischief, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest, and could even be locked up for 11 years. Talk about having a sh-t day…

Via: Great Falls Tribune