The Top 10 Worst Cars Of The Last Year According To Clarkson

Clarkson lays out his top 10 worst cars of the year, and doesn't hold back! This guy is savage...
The Top 10 Worst Cars Of The Last Year According To Clarkson

After captivating the car world with his top 10 cars of the year, Clarkson has now provided us with the ‘stinkers’ of the past 12 months, with a couple of surprises thrown into the mix.

Vauxhall Astra SRi NAV

The Top 10 Worst Cars Of The Last Year According To Clarkson

Clarkson had very little to write about the little turbocharged Vauxhall in his Sunday Times article and only gave it the title of ‘a place to sit down when moving around’. If there’s one thing that JC hates, it’s a bland, unemotional driving experience.

Infiniti Q30 Premium Tech

The Top 10 Worst Cars Of The Last Year According To Clarkson

Clarkson found the Infiniti’s diesel engine completely gutless, claiming that its only use was to ‘convert diesel into noise’ rather than lumps of torque. Despite the handsome mini-SUV’s looks, his conclusion was the Q30 was ‘a mess’.

Skoda Superb SE L Executive

The Top 10 Worst Cars Of The Last Year According To Clarkson

Jeremy again found it difficult to come up with any words to describe the Skoda and after a long drive up the M1, he concluded that the Superb was ‘average’ and ‘not good enough’ to warrant any form of compliment.

Zenos E10 S

The Top 10 Worst Cars Of The Last Year According To Clarkson

He admitted that the Zenos was one hell of a quick car due to an incredible power-to-weight ratio. But without a roof, he described the exhaust note as resembling ‘a fat man who’s using Victorian plumbing to flush away the after-effects of a particularly enormous dinner’.

But the killer for Clarkson was the brakes which he somehow likened to ‘the turd in the swimming pool’.

Renault Kadjar dCi 130 Signature Nav

The Top 10 Worst Cars Of The Last Year According To Clarkson

‘No one is going to yearn for the day they own a Kadjar’ wrote Clarkson, and I’m sure we can all agree. The Qashqai-based SUV was yet another beige alternative for motoring and JC even admitted that you should go for the Google autonomous car over the Renault. Damn, that thing must be bad!

BMW X1 xDrive25d

The Top 10 Worst Cars Of The Last Year According To Clarkson

Despite the huge success of the X1 crossover, the ex-Top Gear presenter was severely disappointed with the four-wheel drive system and said it hadn’t moved on from the previous generation car which ‘resembled a cement mixer.’

He also hated the painfully lacklustre powertrain, that ‘left the line about as enthusiastically as its designer got out of bed in the morning’.

Seat Leon X-Perience SE Technology

The Top 10 Worst Cars Of The Last Year According To Clarkson

Mr Clarkson was as brutal as ever with his stunning review of this Seat…

‘I’m grateful to Seat for lending me this car because it reinforces every belief I’ve held about Seat’s cars. They’re a waste of time’. JC is savage af.

Nissan GT-R Track Edition

The Top 10 Worst Cars Of The Last Year According To Clarkson

Despite the standard GTR being a five-star car in his eyes, the Track Edition had taken the Nissan from hero to zero through the eyes of Clarkson. Due to an extremely stiff suspension setup, Clarkson described the GTR as ‘useless, as driving over a manhole cover gives you some idea of what it might be like to be involved in a plane crash’.

Volkswagen Scirocco 2.0 TDI

The Top 10 Worst Cars Of The Last Year According To Clarkson

Clarkson’s first car was an original VW Scirocco and he loved it, so when the latest edition came out, he wasn’t keen on driving it at all and wrote it is ‘better to keep love from the past as a memory’.

Unfortunately for him, the keys were forced into his hand and he wrote that ‘it stalls a lot. Doubtless for reasons that have a lot to do with the polar bear, this diesel engine needs a bootful of revs before you can even think about setting off’.

He also hated the looks and was completely uninspired by the gutless exhaust note.

Hyundai i800

The Top 10 Worst Cars Of The Last Year According To Clarkson

Yet again using his metaphors to catastrophic effect, Clarkson slammed the Korean car to a whole new level.

‘The Hyundai i800 is worse than that parasite that burrows into children’s eyes. It’s worse than the cubicle on a hot army base with a D&V outbreak. It’s worse than trying on trousers, even. I would rather apply sun cream to James May’s back than travel again in a Hyundai i800’.

Judging by those words, its safe to say that you should probably stay away from the i800 at your next car rental desk!

The Top 10 Worst Cars Of The Last Year According To Clarkson

Do you agree with his choices, or have have you driven any of these cars and have a different opinion?

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Comments

Anonymous

I own the predecessor to the Scirocco he is talking about. The revs situation on my model seems to be different (pre-dieselgate) … the exhaust note however; spot on. It’s incredibly uninspiring i.e. poop (had to use that word to appease your goddamn childish word filters)

08/25/2016 - 18:43 |
4 | 0
Anonymous

Clarksson is always mega-savage with SEAT and i don’t think that’s fair. I mean, i know his reviews have never been about fairness (is that a word?) and objective opinions, but still. Any seat car comes from a VAG Group chassis, and they tend to usually be a little bit sportier than it’s pure german cousins, and thus, more fun to drive.

He always finds a way to screw up SEAT and still like the same car re-badged as a Volkswagen…..

Not that i care that much about Clarksson’s opinions, but his words could keep someone from trying out a SEAT by themselves and discover that they’re basicly almost the same that Volkswagen’s cars but a little bit sportier, and that’s a really good thing!

08/25/2016 - 18:44 |
2 | 0
Anonymous

nice to know the ol’ man hasnt changed

08/25/2016 - 18:44 |
0 | 0
Kyle Ashdown

I am gonna one-up Clarkson on the X1.

The X1 is essentially the same as Sarah, Duchess of York. Yeah, it belongs to a great family, but it’s full of flaws, catastrophically underwhelming, and probably more interested in writing children’s books than doing its actual job. But it really doesn’t matter, people will still call it royalty.

08/25/2016 - 19:05 |
230 | 2

is that you Clarkson?!

08/25/2016 - 19:48 |
22 | 0

How does he do it…

GARY BUSEY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

08/26/2016 - 03:06 |
12 | 0

Why do you sound like ‘Uncle TG’?

08/26/2016 - 05:58 |
2 | 0

Since when did you know that much about the UK?

08/26/2016 - 19:21 |
2 | 0
The Fast Teddy

Love the new layout though

08/25/2016 - 19:06 |
0 | 0
That Guy Who Drives a Skoda

Waiting for the GT-R fanboys to go completely mental with the GT-R being one of the worse cars clarkson has driven

08/25/2016 - 19:09 |
0 | 0
Blaž Potočnik

Kadjar is good car for what it is, I don’t like SUVs but it is not worse than Tiguan, Kia Sportage or Hyundai Tuscon. But to be fair, Clarkson wasn’t a good normal car reviewer, ever.

08/25/2016 - 19:21 |
2 | 0
Radu Gabriel

I dont understand whats so bad about the Renault Kadjar,Skoda Superb and the Seat.They are all good cars,especially the Skoda.The Scirocco isnt bad either,but its pointless.It`s just a Golf with a different body.

08/25/2016 - 19:23 |
2 | 0
DeLeon

He drove the brand new Superb? I dont think so. But actually its a great car.

08/25/2016 - 19:32 |
2 | 0
mark_razh

I’m surprised the “Berlin to Warsaw in one tank” slogan hasn’t been posted here before.

08/25/2016 - 19:43 |
0 | 0