Why We Give A Damn About Alfa Romeo

Watch a certain televisual programme fronted by a tall, pube-haired bloke, and you might be familiar with the phrase, "you have to have owned an Alfa Romeo to be a true petrolhead".

The theory behind it is sound, but in practice it isn't really the case.

Could you really walk up to a bloke who has owned a string of V8 muscle cars, or counts a 1960s Lotus Elan, an E30 BMW M3 or Citroen SM in their collection, look them in the eye, and tell them they aren't a true petrolhead if they've never owned an Alfa?

No, it isn't a prerequesite of petroldom to own an Alfa.

But at the same time, is it possible to have owned an Alfa without being remotely interested in cars? On that, we aren't so sure. It may be clichéd to say so, but there really is an element of passion to Alfas. You don't even need to drive one to appreciate it - just looking through their back-catalogue is enough.

Which makes today's Alfa range borderline heartbreaking at first glance.

Two models, sitting forlornly on Alfa's website. The MiTo supermini, and the Giulietta family car. Two solitary cars with which Alfa must hold up a century of tradition.

Race victories, beautiful classics and some of the world's best sounding engines, their honour defended by nothing more than two glorified Fiats.

Maybe that's a little unfair: Both are actually pretty good cars. The MiTo is a cracker in Cloverleaf form, and it's got some green kudos now too, with the funky TwinAir version. And the Giulietta's sweeping lines do make you wonder what kind of tedious berk would buy a Golf.

But defend Alfa's history they must, because it really is a history worth defending. And unlike Saab, which fell by the wayside last year, Alfa still has a future. It's a future which hangs in the balance, with Alfa not really filling Fiat's coffers in the way a large car company needs to these days. Remain unprofitable for too long, and your head is on the chopping block.

If heads roll, then we won't get to enjoy the Alfas we deserve. The 4C is on the way. Final specifications haven't been revealed, but we're looking at a mid-engined coupe, tipping the scales at under a tonne and with more than 200bhp to its name.

There's the new Spider too. Based on the next-generation Mazda MX-5 it should have a corking chassis - but an extra dose of style, the likes of which the Japanese version may struggle to compete with.

We want those two cars in our lives. We want them on the road, even if you never drive one yourself. Nobody really needed the V8-engined Alfa 8C, but the road is instantly a better place knowing that car exists.

And that's kind of the point of Alfa. Quality may have been variable in the past, and objectively there are better cars out there. But if the Ford Focus and Fiesta ceased to exist tomorrow, nobody would really give a damn. Take the MiTo and Giulietta off the road though, and it would leave a gap.

You may not need to own an Alfa to consider yourself a petrolhead, but you do need to care that Alfa exists.