Working On A Modern(ish) Car For The First Time Was An Utterly Infuriating Experience

My MkV VW Golf GTI may not be that new, but it’s the most modern car I’ve ever worked on. And my, does it make DIY mechanics tricky…
Working On A Modern(ish) Car For The First Time Was An Utterly Infuriating Experience

I’ve never been much of a home mechanic, but I’ve always tried to do simple jobs like oil changes and general servicing myself. It’s always been on older cars, though, like a 1986 Mercedes 190E 2.3-16, a 1992 VW Corrado and a 1990 BMW E30 318iS; 80s and 90s legends that are all easy peasy to spanner yourself. So, although my current car - a 2005 MkV VW Golf GTI - isn’t exactly a new motor, it’s by far the most modern I’ve worked on. And my god, was it a ridiculous faff to service.

Let’s start with the oil change. When shopping for all the necessary bits online, I was overjoyed to see the oil filter was an internal one. “Ah,” I thought; “it’ll take just a couple of minutes to change that, like the internal filter on my old Merc”. But no. The filter lives in a housing right underneath the engine, and you have to take off the sump guard just to get to it.

Then, you have to remove a drain plug cover - which was as good as seized after being overtightened, by the way - find that the drain plug is hopeless without the special VW tool you’re supposed to use, at which point you’ll probably just accept there’s going to be a slight mess as the remaining undrained oil in the filter housing splashes out. Drain plug cover out of the way, and you have to whip out a 36mm socket to remove the filter housing. Who has a 36mm socket? I certainly don’t, and had to buy one especially for the job.

Everything you have to take off to get to the air filter. And yes, I know my front offside wheel is in dire need of a refurb...
Everything you have to take off to get to the air filter. And yes, I know…

Traumatised by what was one of the most needlessly tricky oil changes I’ve ever had to do, I put off changing the air filter for another few weeks. The last time I changed an air filter it took about two minutes and involved popping open a little box, swapping the filter to a nice fresh one, and sticking the lid back on. Not so here. The filter is sealed within the engine cover, so you have to take the whole damn thing off, removing various plugs and pipes and carefully lift the assembly off a quartet of rubber grommets.

Then, you have to undo something like 12 screws and remove a heat shield thing to take the engine cover apart. When I reached this stage, I realised two things: one, the new air filter I’d been sent was the wrong shape, and two, the half-wit who’d last taken the engine cover off had broken it in several places, stripped several screw threads and tried to glue it all back together. The only way there would have been more swearing at that point is if Gordon Ramsey was walking past on a carpet made entirely of Lego bricks, while eating a disappointing soufflé.

Working On A Modern(ish) Car For The First Time Was An Utterly Infuriating Experience

Removing the engine cover is not easy, so I can see why it had been broken, but bodging it together and sticking it back in the engine bay rather than replacing it makes he or she a cretin of the highest order. Wherever you are, I hate you. Very much.

The engine cover being removed at least meant I could do something productive and change the spark plugs, but I’m now faced with doing the whole job again with a replacement airbox and the right filter.

I (mostly) enjoyed working on my older cars, but there was nothing fun about the work I had to do on my Golf. I’m sure not all modern-ish cars are as painful for the home mechanic, but with the amount of plastic tat you see under the bonnets of cars these days, they just aren’t going to be as easy to spanner as older motors.

What hellishly tricky modern-ish cars have you had the displeasure of working on?

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Comments

Anonymous

this is exactly why I stick to cars no newer than about year 2000-ish ;)

04/23/2017 - 15:22 |
0 | 2
Anonymous

Golf 5 gtis are easy to work on when you fit the new airbox/engine cover grease the rubber grommets the oil filter drain i cant remember what type it is but if its the metal plug will be a 6mm hec head if its the orange plug you just push it up its spring loaded

04/24/2017 - 00:11 |
2 | 0
K sarito

I know what you mean i have the same engine 2.0t ea113 b6 passat. Not fun to work on. Especially the thermostat which is behind the alternator and intercooler inlet pipe.

04/24/2017 - 04:18 |
0 | 0
Anonymous

I’m a hobby mechanic who’s mostly done work on newer cars, 2012 BMW 318d has by far been the worst, did an engine swap on a 2002 Volvo v40 2t, fairly simple but the plastic clips on the engine covers are a pain. I have a 1986 Alfa Romeo gtv6 and a 2003 alfa 147, not done much work on the gtv yet but compared to the
newer alfas it’s a delight.

04/24/2017 - 06:39 |
0 | 0
Anonymous

I have the same problems with my 2003 Mini Cooper S. It’s not that complicated but it’s so compact in there….. I have a friend mechanic who does the job for me, and yes, 1 year in Malta, I learnt all Maltese swear words from him :D I want to change the supercharger oil, it’s a screw you can touch, it’s not deep inside the bay, but still you must remove the radiator to change it lol

04/24/2017 - 08:33 |
2 | 0
Robert Hahn

After having my mk4 Golf Gti for a year, running 22 pounds of boost, blowing the head gasket, and rebuilding the entire engine, I completely agree. VW makes things so much more difficult than it needs to be, and almost every other thing needs a specialty tool, but after awhile, once you learn how everything works and you have the tools, you do start to fall in love with the quirks. It also teaches you quite a bit. I have put many hours of blood, sweat, swears, and tears into my car, and at the end of the day, it has made me love it more. Just wait until your clutch goes out. That was a fun one.

04/24/2017 - 08:59 |
6 | 0

I can vouch. My experience with the VR6 was the same, but I’m better off mechanically now that I’ve done the work. Clutch was indeed fun to get to!

07/11/2017 - 19:36 |
2 | 0
Thomas Jackson

Electrical connectors on my astra H, had a nightmare getting my electrical connector for my coil pack back on once replaced and had to cut down foam inside the connector to get it back on, literally the most ridiculuos thing 10 mins to replace coil pack and spark plugs 20 mins to get a connector back on 😬😡

04/24/2017 - 23:18 |
0 | 0
suchdoge

Very true

04/25/2017 - 11:53 |
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Anonymous

As a Mercedes tech, I can say first hand that repairing new vehicles is 10x more complex than older vehicles. I’m crossing my fingers that my ‘17 C300 doesn’t have any issues until the lease is up, cause I’m going to be the one that gets to fix it. And the ‘03 G35 I use to have was a peach to work on compared to the ‘05 E60 I have now. Almost everything on that bmw requires ISTA D/P, which takes FOREVER to start up. Yes, I save the labor costs being able to fix it all myself. But the parts are still crazy expensive.

And contrary to popular beliefs, I don’t make money from over priced dealship labor rates. I make a living fixing vehicles for people who have too much money to care about the cost.

07/11/2017 - 03:06 |
0 | 0
Anonymous

I freaking love this thing! 65’ 352ci it was seized and my dad and I had it running in about 3 hours…and all the space in the engine bay is a bonus, I can only imagine trying to get a modern car running 20 years down the road when the engines will seize up…

07/11/2017 - 03:50 |
0 | 0