"Chaps, I've got a great idea!" - Mercedes R63 AMG

(Yes, I know, another silly Mercedes MPV. I promise, this is the last one.) So, you have a bunch of 6.2-litre, naturally aspirated V8s lying around. What could you possibly do with them? Build a fantastic sports saloon to give M3s and RS4s a run for their money? Done. Stick some in a small 2-door coupé to provide for lots of sideways antics and slight chance of snappy-twitchy-into-treeyness? Check. Make a flagship luxury GT car with an appetite for tyres? Way ahead of you. What else could you possibly do? SUV? Already done. What on Earth else could you concoct? A silly (though very cool) person would say a minivan, but that’s just ridiculous. No company would even think of doing such a thing.

…So much for that. Say hello to the Mercedes R63 AMG. 6.2 litres and 500HP of German goodness. And my, what a machine it is. Utilising the uncanny sounding M156 we all know and love, this 2375kg lump of awesome is a force to be reckoned with. Introduced as a 2007MY car at the 2006 North American Auto Show, the R63 was a niche suitably covered by Mercedes’ fabled AMG range. The 503BHP, 464 lb/ft power plant was plucked straight from the other vehicles in the lineup, such as the C63 AMG and ML63 AMG. Unlike most other AMGs of its time, the R was never available with RWD. The full-time AWD system from the likes of the ML-class was employed, coupled to a 7-speed automatic transmission (with paddles), to put all the grunt onto the road, shifting the big van to the customary 60MPH mark in under 4.5 seconds, onto a limited top speed of, you guessed it, 155MPH. If you ask Mercedes very kindly however, they’ll gladly de-restrict it, allowing your 2.4 tonne hunk of aluminium to soldier on until 185. Ludicrous.

The fantastic thing about this vehicle is that it was actually sold to the public. When it landed in the UK it had a fat MSRP of £74,000, making it one of the most expensive cars on sale at the time. Due to the odd mixed-persona of the part-SUV part-MPV and the high running costs, coupled with this extortionate asking price, the R63 was a commercial failure, though if you can find one for sale on the used market with a full, precautional service history, would make for quite possibly the ultimate multi-purpose vehicle, if you can get over the realistic 17MPG thirst and the fact that you are single-handedly bludgeoning a polar bear somewhere in the world. The fact that there were only ever 30 made for America could make the search for one a little tricky, though.

Whilst all the weight would presumably hinder the thing’s progress when the road gets twisty, reviews state that ‘despite its corpulence and girth, the R63 can be chucked around in a thoroughly entertaining manner.’ To explain what this is getting at, thanks to its length and chubbiness, it can tackle corners with plenty of stability, with the extra all wheel drive traction helping it get a forceful shunt out of corners when you twiddle your right toe. It apparently had very precise handling for a car of this demeanour, and decidedly enormous 275-cross tyres and 21 inch rims would certainly help it hustle.

So we’ve established that it kills the planet, drinks the planet and that there are only 30 in the land of the free. Doesn’t sound like a very good car to most people. But to us, it appeals thanks to its irresistible charm. It’s a modern car with character, and plenty of it. That’s an achievement on its own. I look up to Mercedes for simply considering the idea of creating it, let alone actually producing it, even if in severely limited numbers. Cars such as this are rare in the history of the automotive world, and we can only hope that Mercedes continues their reign of the wacky side of the performance car industry.
Thanks for reading!