BMW 328i M-Sport. The want is real.

Yesterday, I posted a review of the Jaguar XE R-Sport. That car easily sets the benchmark for the compact executive market without a shadow of a doubt – though, I concluded that I would never buy one. The reason? Whilst it drove amazingly well, it did it in a very ”like a sir” manner, and I want some more visceral punch to my driving experience. I want to be attacked, not massaged.

So out of curiosity I went to my local BMW dealer and started nosing around the 3-Series. Is it a good looking car? Yes, but it doesn’t exude prestige like the Jaguar. Was the interior nice? It was to a point. The seating position was excellent and the view out the front commanding – but it didn’t give me the brute I was expecting.

The view out the Jaguar gives you this veiny hood bulging up looking powerful and ready to head-butt someone. It reminded me of the Mustang. The 3-series is just sort of… there. Some of the plastics and switch gear inside the 3 were also a little bit suspect for such an expensive vehicle, and the overall ergonomics and design were better done in the Jaguar. The dials were particularly irksome in the Bimmer, being rather small and difficult to read with tiny markers. Was I doing 45? Hell if I know. Am I bang on 30mph? No idea. The needle is so thick I can’t discern if I’m over or under the limit.

So far, so average. So why do I say the want is real in the Bimmer, but I’d pass on the Jag which I considered perfect?

Lets just say I now understand you, fans of BMW. I understand why you drive these machines and do so with intense vim and vigour.

First, an overview. My tester was a 2015 328i with the 8-speed flappy paddle transmission. The new LCI models, which sees the 328i renamed the 330i, have yet to be delivered, and they didn’t have a 335i (now the 340i) for me to test. They also didn’t have any manual transmission cars, the only ones that did were diesel rep-mobiles of the highest order. Whilst the 328i isn’t the last word in performance, it’s the market competitor to the Jag XE R-Sport, so it’s the best car to drive for a direct comparison.

The Jaguar’s transmission was also an 8-speed, and it was phenomenal but just not for me. I love rowing through the gears with a stick between the seats, especially after the Jag left me a bit cold.

However, I now realise that I’ve found a kink in the Jag’s impenetrable armour. The 8-speed in the R-Sport was aggressive, as it should be in something with Sport in the name, but it didn’t fit the character of the overall car. It was aggressive and a tad out of place with a vehicle so gentlemanly.

The 8-speed in the BMW? The transmission isn’t as good as the Jaguar’s, suffering from noticeable shunt when trying to come to a stop and a tad unrefined at times when pulling away, but it works so much better with the overall character of the Bimmer. This is an aggressively tuned transmission mated to an aggressive car. In Sport mode the engine likes to sing its song (or rather, scream its tiny little heart out) and bounce from the redline without a care in the world and the transmission follows suit.

The Jag is “like a sir”. The Bimmer is “like a boss”. Which one you think is better is best left up to you. The engine and gearbox combo had me giggling like an idiot, at least four times in the drive I flicked the paddles to go down several gears, screamed “go fast now!” and mashed the throttle to rocket me into the horizon.

The same can’t be said for the handling, though. The Jaguar felt more planted and reassured. The BMW leaned just a tad too much for my liking, and the Chassis is a little vague in comparison to the Jag about what the rear end is doing.

So the Jaguar is the better car by a wide margin both inside and out, but the BMW is the crowd pleaser if you’re after something more visceral. I’m no gentleman and a gentleman’s sporting carriage is not what I’m after. I’m an idiot who mashes the pedal at any given opportunity – sod the miles per gallon, I want the smiles per mile!

I ended up discovered three things today:

1. The BMW 3-Series is massively overhyped both inside and out. Audi and Jaguar do it better.
2. I found an Automatic I could live with and enjoy using whilst driving (someone call the nurse).
3. The reason why people buy these cars, despite their flaws, is because they do what a sports saloon should: be unapologetically giggle inducing.

I’ve got an order in for a new Mustang. A BMW 340i and Mustang GT Euro-Spec cost around the same a month with similar performance figures. If the Mustang fails to impress me once I scrutinize it next Tuesday (August 11th) at a special customer’s only event, I’ll be cancelling my order with Ford and heading back to BMW for a 340i Automatic in Estoril Blue.

German Engineering indeed.