The Kia Picanto Mp3 (first generation)

Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to step into a time machine and travel 10 years into the future? Probably not. But if you ever do, this little Kia can give you the answer.

When you first approach this car the first thing you’ll notice is the hideous orange metallic paintjob. I don’t know in which colours the Picanto Mp3 was available but I am finding pictures on Google of this car in a pale metallic blue and in black. Why someone would even think of ordering a car in this kind of orange beats me.

After having a proper look around the car you can only conclude that the guy who designed it was either blind or heavily intoxicated. Just look at those wheels. Why? Why would you make them so small? And there are more oddly sized parts on the car! The headlights for example are huge, they look as if they were ripped off something like a Ford Transit. All these odd dimensions make the car look like a little toy, and you start wondering what would happen if you crashed it. After seeing a few horrible imaginary crash scenes flash before your eyes you’ll open the door to find out what’s inside of this thing.

There’s only really one word to describe the interior: plastic. Everything feels cheap, rattles and looks either grey or orange. Because yes, you need an interior that matches the hideous paintjob. Even the steering wheel is made of cheap hard plastic. The door handles aren’t connected to the door, but to the door panel which is flimsy. So flimsy in fact that with a closed door you’ll be able to pull the door handle two or three centimeters towards you. And I don’t know who came up with those seats, but they’re horrible. I’m a sporty 20 year old, but after 10 minutes of driving around in this thing I already had a backache.

When you finally start the car, you’ll find the engine isn’t actually that bad. I had the 1.1 litre petrol engine in my car which puts out 65 hp (49 kW) and a whopping 97 Newtonmeters of torque. The car was also available with a 1 litre petrol engine which produces 61 hp (45 kW) and 86 Nm, and a little 1.1 litre 3 cylinder diesel which will give you 75 hp (56 kW) and 153 Nm of torque. All these engines are quite economical, with a fuel consumption of around 5l/100km, and as expected the diesel engine is the most economical one. Despite the low power figures acceleration in my 1.1 litre petrol rental car was actually pretty decent. Certainly good enough to not become an obstacle on the road.

The handling is like you would expect: not that great. The suspension is bouncy, and with those horrible seats you want to watch your speed before going over a speed bump. Obviously this car was designed for the city, and isn’t meant to go faster than 50kph. The driving doesn’t feel very connected. The steering is vague, and feels very old school. The throttle feels like a sponge and the pedal feels flimsy. It feels as if it’s made out of that same crappy plastic they used in the interior. The brake pedal feels a little sturdier though, as does the clutch pedal. But you don’t want to use the clutch, because that means you’ll have to shift from one gear to another. Which is a horrible feeling because it feels as if the whole gearbox is made out of plastic as well. Yes, yet another part that feels like it’s going to break if you aren’t careful.

The car I drove wasn’t a normal Kia Picanto, it was the Kia Picanto Mp3! Yes, this car has Mp3 playback. Something they’re obviously proud of since they put a nice big badge on the back to tell the whole world about the fact you’re driving a car with Mp3 playback. In case you’re not so technologically advanced and you don’t know what Mp3 is, this car also has a CD player. Overall the equipment on this car is very basic. Electric windows and electric mirrors for example don’t come as standard, my rental car didn’t have them.

With five doors the car looks to be quite practical. That is until you open the boot. The boot is so small you won’t even get one of those folding plastic crates in it. You know, those folding plastic crates some people use when they go shopping for groceries. And I don’t think you’ll be able to get a medium sized suitcase in there.

And for those of you who thought ‘Picanto’ was a stupid name for a car - especially for a car that isn’t spicy in any way - it gets worse. In it’s home country, South Korea, the car is called the Kia Morning. Yes, the Kia Morning. The Kia Mourning would be a more fitting name.

All in all this car is quite boring and feels very cheap. But more importantly, it feels like it was put in a time machine in the early ‘90s and sent to the future. I’m happy Kia turned over this page of producing crappy outdated cars and thanks to Peter Schreyer (designer of the original Audi TT) started making some good looking, decent cars.