Mini JCW Paceman Review: A Riot To Drive, But A Niche Too Far?

Under the hood

If you’re any sort of Mini fan you won’t need to ask what engine the Paceman JCW uses. But in case you’re not, it’s the same 1.6-litre, 215bhp turbo that you’ll find in any of the other John Cooper Works specials. It’ll rock your world right up to 140mph, but since Mini installed a 210kph (131mph) speed limiter for our test out in snowy Frankfurt – to stop the winter tyres blowing off the rims – all I can say is that on the Autobahn the Paceman jogs right up to that marker with no bother. Not bad for a car with the aerodynamics of a pig stuck in a cat flap.

You’ll also hit 62mph in 6.9 seconds if you’re man enough with the clutch. Just dump that sucka and before the front tyres board the failboat, the drivetrain opens up the taps to the rear wheels too, pushing your lungs into your spine and leaving the tool who was in the front-wheel drive hot hatch next to you at the lights shredding his tyres like a n00b.

Behind the wheel

There’s a lot to like in the cabin, but too much of it will cost you extra on top of the 30 large that the Paceman will already pick your pockets for. The key things are more or less bang on, though, with supportive but not too racy seats and a pretty well judged driving position. You feel like you’re sitting on the Paceman rather than in it, but when it comes to corners it’s no handicap.

Riding on winter tyres it’s tricky to say for sure exactly how the Paceman JCW will behave on its standard setup, but on 17-inch rims and chunky soft rubber there’s a real sense of compliancy and composure when you’re in maximum attack mode. The problem is that you have to push through a layer of mediocrity to get there. At about six tenths up a suitable awesome German hillside pass, the steering feels too artificial, the ride will make you feel car-sick and that turbo is too slow to get its arse in gear.

But push to eight tenths or more and the Paceman JCW transforms itself. The ride settles like a boss, the engine responds faster now you’re working it harder in a lower gear and you can totally feel the transition from tiny understeer to huge four-wheel traction and rapid forward motion. Keep it on the boil and it’s mega, giving you loads of feedback through the wheel – if maybe not so much through the chassis. Either way, the front end is nicely active and lively.

Bad points? For a kick-off it’s no friend to crosswinds, especially when you’re past the double-ton in kph. The styling is all a bit too busy for my liking too, especially around the back end where you can barely see any paint for all the pointlessly massive badges and stickers. Less is more, Mini. Then there’s the power delivery, which even in second is a bit softly-softly. It’s forgiving and kills any chance of catastrophic oversteer, but it’s nowhere near as bonkers or hardcore as some folks will want a JCW model to be.

Splash the cash?

Mini is the master when it comes to selling niche cars and even the cast of TOWIE could see that a four-wheel drive, three-door hatch-coupe with a raised driving position and a relatively thirsty 1.6 turbo under the hood has a fairly limited appeal. The thing is, though, Mini always seems to build models that people want so badly they’d pawn vital organs to get them, so you just know that however bonkers the near-£30,000 price tag looks next to game-changers like the BMW M135i, the Paceman JCW will sell. Should you buy it? Depends how much you want it.