Porsche Boxster S Review: Nothing To See Here, People!

Under the hood

Erm, the Boxster's mid-engined so you'll mostly find a decent load space under the bonnet. To the boot hatch then; still no engine money shot. Bugger.

But underneath lots of carpet and nestled behind the driver compartment - somewhere - lives a lively 3.4-litre unit, which pumps out a solid 311bhp through the rear rubbers.

And because the Boxster S weighs just 1350kg (that's 100kg less than the old model), you’re looking at a 0-62mph dash time of 4.8sec and a top speed of…wait for it…172mph. In a Boxster! Not so bad for an engine you can't actually see, is it?!

Behind the wheel

Seven glorious days and a cheeky trip to Ireland and back – as you do – in the Boxster S is exactly 6.99 days longer than you need to appreciate how epic this new Porker is.

The 3.4-litre flat six unit and seven-speed PDK ‘box go hand in hand like CT and foul language, making this an engine and gearbox combination unrivaled in its class; fancy a spot of kerb crawling? No problem, the Boxster is as smooth at 10mph as it is exciting at +150mph with the roof down. Speaking of which, the 'leccy cloth arrangement is a winner too; rapid to pop up or down (around 8sec) and as insulating at speed as a tin top. Impressive.

Then there’s that raspy flat-six exhaust note. It's more addictive to tuck into than a Dominos Meat Feast and goads you into pushing that bit harder to get her hitting those high notes. Before you know it, you’re into license-losing territory - not that any police car could keep up, mind.

But Porsches are all about rival-destroying handling, and the Boxster S is no exception. Thanks to its mid-engined layout, wide footprint and the fact that it shares much of its underpinnings with the new 911, the S dances through corners with utter confidence. The new model's electric steering (like the new 911) is also sweeter than Cee Lo's latest ride; turn-in is seriously quick and steering weight bang on, making this sports car the ultimate B-road weapon.

The ride's bloomin' excellent, too. Yes it's firm, but it won't shake your face off, despite sitting on gorgeous 20-inch wheels.

Let's talk looks now - pretty ain't it? Or would you call it manly? Either way, one thing's for sure, it's a marked improvement compared with the frog-eyed, push-me-pull-you Boxster of old. Seriously, this new Boxster's awesome exterior will give you more stares than David Cameron in a mankini, while the interior is a masterpiece all of its own. Like the new 911, it's beautifully crafted, logically arranged and mega comfortable.

Splash the cash?

Oh my God yes. The Porsche Boxster S is currently the best (reasonably priced) drop-top sports car money can buy. It's rapid, practical, easy to drive and makes you feel like an absolute hero.

The Boxster also looks like a proper Porsche and well and truly dispels the myth that owning one is an admission that life didn't turn out well enough for you to bag that 911.

Need we say more?