10 Things Petrolheads Do That Infuriate Non-Car Lovers
Stopping to take pictures of random cars
Whether you’re into supercars, drift missiles or humble hot hatchbacks, no casual walk is safe from being interrupted by your camera phone. There’s generally something cool to be seen driving past or parked down a side street, and it’ll make your friends wonder why you can’t walk to your destination without getting distracted.
Taking photos of your own car
It’s not just other people’s cars that are safe from a petrolhead’s camera. Find yourself parked in a cool location, and it’d be rude not to turn around and take a few snaps of your ride.
What’s worse is driving past somewhere that’d look great with a car in front of it, resulting in you turning around for a quick snap. Your other half probably won’t appreciate being told to keep their head down and out of shot…
Interrupting conversations to point out cool cars
If you like cars, you have a natural ability to spot interesting metal no matter how quickly it flies by. This is especially relevant while driving - your friend is chatting away, and you spot something on the other side of the motorway. “Ooh, look, a Ferrari”, you blurt out, letting your friend know you hadn’t been listening to a word they were saying.
Being a terrible passenger
As a petrolhead, you know best when it comes to driving. That’s why being a passenger is difficult, because watching people who couldn’t care less about the art of driving wobble around from one near-accident to the next is really quite difficult.
When you’re pushing on an invisible brake pedal or pointing out hazards just in case, your driver will probably want to kick you to the roadside.
Getting enthusiastic about random old 'beaters'
When you’re really into something, you tend to like the things that the average person just doesn’t understand. Movie lovers will often say their favourite movie is some quirky black and white film you’ve never heard of, for example. And it’s the same with cars - you might know why the Toyota AE86 is so revered, but your mates will just see another crappy old hatchback.
They’ll probably wonder why they’re even friends with you when you squeal with delight at the sight of some beat up JDM legend.
Constantly checking the Car Throttle app
The wonderful thing about mobile phones is that no matter where you are, you have access to pretty much all human knowledge. For petrolheads, that means surfing the Car Throttle app to stay up-to-date with what’s going on in the motoring world, and to chat about anything and everything car related with fellow enthusiasts - and now it’s available on iOS as well as Android, so there’s really no excuse for not getting your fix!
Commentating on your own driving
Driving fast is obviously super fun, but sometimes in everyday driving it’s easy to get a bit bored. If you’ve grown up watching your favourite racing drivers’ actions being narrated, it’s great fun to come up with your own one-liners and whip out the odd cliche while driving around town.
Just don’t expect your mates to appreciate you screaming about diving up the inside into a corner when they’re trying to listen to the latest Justin Bieber banger on the radio.
Explaining driving dynamics to people who don't care
Channeling your inner Chris Harris by reviewing your car across your favourite back road might be entertaining and interesting to you, but your passenger probably couldn’t care less about the way your suspension handles rough tarmac.
That also goes for explaining the history behind a rare car you’ve spotted, or detailing the intricacies of Tesla’s business model after spotting a Model S on the road.
Watching Top Gear re-runs takes priority over all other TV events
Yes, it might be the 16th time you’ve seen this episode, but it’s a classic. They’re all classics! Your family or housemates must accept that whether it’s a big match or the series finale of their favourite show, Top Gear is life.
Pointing out vehicular inconsistencies on film
Television shows, advertisements and movies have a long history of inaccuracies with cars. Whether it’s a film set in 1975 showing a car that wasn’t facelifted like that until 1977, or a Subaru with a mysterious V8 wail, you’re going to notice.
Yes, the reason sounds and other such things are changed is to give the audience a subtle cue without having to take time to explain anything - for example, ‘this car is fast’ - but to those in the know it just looks amateur. Stop insulting our intelligence!
Comments
This should’ve been on the list.
My passengers know to shut up when the windows roll down :P
my passenger opens the window :D
Unless you drive a GMC Sonoma with the dinky little 2.2 that sounds like a grumpy bumblebee with a hangover
Or when you hear a weird noise and try to diagnose it right away
True everytime i see a evo my friends are like bro, you nerd
So true! My next door neighbor bought a Sandero so naturally I fanboyed out big time. I’ll be honest. It got weird. My wife wants a divorce.
“Good News!” “What?” “A Dacia Sandero has arrived!”
I now have a bad cough thanks to that last sentence.
Interrupting a conversation when you hear an awesome car…
Yeah man, sounds go-SUBARU!!!
That moment when you think you hear a V8 :o
I usually say the model of the car. Saying just the brand is too boring . Like “look that f430” or “oooh an r34”
Every time.
Driving with no radio so you can hear your exhaust
Years ago my girlfriend and I were leaving a store, loading up the car in the parking lot. A few spots away was a mint condition 1st-gen Prelude. I said something about how I wanted it, my gf said, “Why would you want that old-ass ugly piece of crap?” I replied, “It’s NOT an old-ass ugly piece of crap! It’s a classic, and it’s in beautiful condition!”
Unnoticed, the Prelude’s owner was walking by toward the car and heard the whole thing. He said “Thank You” to me and kept walking. My gf was totally embarrassed. It was awesome.
LOL
You probably made that guy’s day!
My girlfriend hated Alfa Romeos because one of his friends told her they suck, and are unreliable. My cousin bought a 156 with the 2.4 Inline-5 JTD and she was like ‘what a piece of crap, and it’s also diesel’. Later on I asked my cousin for the keys and we took it for a spin with my GF. Needless to say she fell in love with the Inline-5 sound, and the torque of the diesel engine, and also Alfa Romeo.
Now she understands the beauty of Alfa Romeo, and also got interested in ‘out of ordinary’ engines.
Dump her or teach her.
I have slightly similar experience.
I had a -89 N13 Sunny, most people said it was a piece of crap and that it was horrible to sit in the back.
But some people still keep asking about the car, like 3 months after i sold it.
It was an awesome car, it just started falling apart like most of the old cheap Nissans do :/
I some how read that as Coll Phillins lol
Speeding in general…
Better rephrase that: “qualifying” not speeding ;)
Trying to sneak the Carthrottle app into every post….aehm…I mean conversation
Watching Top Gear reruns is so me xD
The director of Ronin was a petrolhead, and that sound from the S8 was actually from the 4.2 litre V8 engine. It just sounds very much like a six pot in lower rev ranges.
I promise you that it’s the accurate sound that was recorded.