10 Top Tips To Keep Your Car Safe From Crimz

10. Don’t leave crap lying around

Leaving your iPod nestled in the centre-console in plain sight is like rolling out the red carpet for potential thieves, and gifting them an all-access VIP pass to your motor. You may as well’ve left ‘em a cuppa and a copy of the Sunday Sport in there, too.

9. Use a steering lock

An oldie, but a goody. Though a bit unwieldy - and destined to dissuade any lass you’re lucky enough to have pulled from sleeping with you - little else on this list is as much of a visible deterrent for any potential thief as a bloody great steering lock. This is especially useful if you drive an older car without an immobiliser - just remember to keep the keys safe...

8. Live in it

Extreme, yes...but you’ll save heaps on rent and as a consequence will be able to afford something much more flash. Hang your washing on your spoiler for maximum effect. However failing that, you could just...

7. Park it somewhere bright

Yep, something as simple as parking underneath a bright street-light could be the difference between you driving home, or having to hitch a lift with B.O Brian from accounts. But don’t forget to...

6. Lock it...obviously

You’d be surprised. Too lazy? You could always...

5. Get a TVR

So confusing are TVRs to operate - thanks to numerous clusters of identical buttons with literally no symbols on whatsoever - we doubt your average car thief would even be able to open the door, let alone make a hasty, V8-propelled exit in the direction of the nearest council estate. After a cheaper solution…?

4. Buy a Ford Ka

Who’d have thought it. Between 2004 and 2011, not one of Confused.com’s Ka-driving customers had their motors pinched. According to ex-con Michael Fraser, this is because they are “cheap, with no power, and

no street cred’ among thieves”. Moreover, teapots have never been popular with crims’. Speaking of Ford - you could...

3. Take the engine with you

If you’re lucky enough to drive a Focus fitted with the carmaker's ace 1.0-litre three-banger turbo, you could simply stash the engine in a small suitcase and take it with you. Like a 'man-bag', only much more manly - in every way. To prove it’s possible, Ford themselves took one on holiday in a carry-on bag...

2. Stay away from Hull

Were another reason needed to steer clear of Hull, this’d be it. It’s Britain’s worst city for car thefts - with 126 per cent more claims than the national average, according to 2006 data from Endsleigh Insurance.

1. Electrify the door-handles

Hot off the back of Skyfall, now’s the perfect time to fit some Bond-inspired anti-theft kit to your motor. Remember 007’s 7-series from Tomorrow Never Dies? Well, now you too can have electrified door handles - thanks to a host of US armoured car specialists. We’re not sure they’re legal in the UK, mind...

Images: Karlnorling, duh.denise, illustir and Jalopnik