Are The Best Beater Cars Found In The US Or The UK?

When it comes to cheap beater cars, are the best ones found in the United States or the United Kingdom? Speaking as a lifelong American, you can probably guess what my answer is. But you’d be wrong because honestly, I’m not sure who has the better beaters.

That’s because you can approach the whole beater concept from different angles. America has no federal testing standards for cars like UK drivers have with the Ministry of Transport. Most states have some kind of basic annual inspection for safety and/or emissions, but 13 U.S. states have nothing at all. That means beater cars here can get downright nasty - as in floorboards completely rusted away, mismatched lights duct-taped into place, zip-tied suspension and leaking fuel tank nasty. And yes, I once had all the above in a 1990 Ford Escort GT, pictured here with the gaping hole in the floor.

Things are a bit different on the other side of the pond, where cars have to pass a fairly stringent MOT inspection to be certified road-legal. I think I speak for most Americans when I say your beater cars are, generally speaking, much nicer than ours. But I’m not sure being nicer actually makes a better beater.

Here’s the thing - some people like their beater cars to be just a bit feral; threatening to either fall apart or blow up or simply disintegrate upon hitting the next pothole. I’m not ashamed to admit I find those cars wildly entertaining, for a week or so anyway. If anything, beater cars in the UK would pass for reasonably nice used cars in the States, and I suspect they’d bring in quite a bit more coin.

To showcase a bit of what I’m talking about, and just for the sheer fun of seeing how much car you can get for your money, I dug up a couple beaters from both sides of the pond. We’ll start with the former pride and joy of police departments across America - the trusty body-on-frame, rear-wheel drive, V8-powered Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor.

This particular ‘Vic is a 2007 model, selling in New York for a mere $1200. That’s just over £830 and if I’m honest, that’s an insanely good price for a late model interceptor. In fact, with the cult following ex-police cruisers have in the States, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if it sold before this article even goes live. If that’s the case, here’s what you need to know.

It’s done 158,000 miles, and though it’s pretty rusty around the fenders and doors, I’ve seen much worse. I still wager good money that you’ll find hidden rust in the floor, but since it rides on a full frame there won’t be any loss in rigidity. There are no interior or engine pictures, but most ex-cop cars have vinyl floors with an AM/FM stereo and basic power equipment (windows, locks and air con) as the only luxuries.

Power comes from a 4.6-litre V8 that ideally still makes all of its original 250bhp. If that’s the case, this old cruiser would be the perfect fun beater in America - rear-wheel drive and ugly as mouldy donuts, but gutsy enough to get sideways with a thumping V8.

Meanwhile, civilised petrolheads in the UK can also enjoy some inexpensive rear-wheel drive tomfoolery, courtesy of this 1998 BMW 328i Touring selling for just £650 in Romsey. The odometer shows just 137,000 rounds, and in the pictures it looks quite good both inside and out. Yes it’s got an automatic transmission, but we’re talking £650 for a running and driving E36 BMW with the 190bhp 2.8-litre inline six. So what’s the catch?

Per the ad, the car is said to drive “absolutely fine and everything seems to work fine.” The ad also says the car was originally destined for a manual transmission swap to become a drift car, then as an engine donor for an E30 project until the seller lost interest. The real question to ask here is, what did the current owner discover that led him to want to bail out? To make matters worse, its MOT recently expired, so if there are other problems present, it might cost hundreds or thousands more to make it road legal.

But that’s quite a bit of speculation there. You could also buy this car for £650, sail through MOT and have a car that looks good, hauls all kinds of things, and is fun to drive. It’s certainly priced like a beater, but compared with the rusty Crown Victoria, this estate wouldn’t be a beater in the ‘States.

So what’s your cheap car flavour: V8 ‘Murican cop car or quintessential German estate? I kinda want them both, hence why I’m not sure who has the best beaters. Either way, it’s nice to know there are actually some decent rides to be had for crazy cheap cash. I seriously need a bigger garage.