Why Communism Sucks for Petrolheads

Intro

A while back James May and Jeremy Clarkson filmed a special on Top Gear in which they set out to see if a communist country ever produced a good automobile. In the end, they found a few bright spots but ultimately came up empty handed. Personally, I like some Soviet vehicles like the Lada Niva and Riva, but I’ll get into how communism ruined these cars. You see, James May and Jeremy Clarkson did a very good job of highlighting the failure of communist nations in producing automobiles, especially ones for petrolheads, but they did not go very far into why. As someone casually interested in politics, I feel I have an idea of why communism has never produced good automobiles, and specifically why “communist sports car” is an oxymoron.

Equality of Opportunity vs. Equality of Outcome

At the core of Marxism, is the idea that people should not just be given equal chances, but that everyone should be made equal no matter their skill or willingness to work. In practice, communism doesn’t actually create equality like it aims to, but it does, however, mean that most people outside of the government, or Criminal Organizations such as the Mafia, are poor. This decreases the market for sports cars, luxury cars, and other vehicles petrol heads appreciate. Of course there were vehicles for those higher-ups, but that’s not a very large market. The government-controlled manufactures such as Lada(Vaz) could not offer much variety compared to American companies, who had a plethora of options, and most of all, muscle cars. Instead of putting better products within reach, communism focuses on everyone having a vehicle which is just good enough (if it allows them to have cars at all). This leaves no room for a sporty Lada that we kind of wish existed from the factory.

"They pretend to pay us and we pretend to work"

In the automotive world, the best vehicles come from countries where everyone from the assembly line worker to the top designers and engineers is doing their best. The old inside joke in the USSR,”They pretend to pay us, we pretend to work”, comically explains how the work ethic in Soviet Russia was generally lower than in America and for good reason. I’m not insulting communist workers, I’m just saying that they did not have much to work for. In communism, you work for the good of the state, which is no motivation when the state is horribly corrupt and self-serving. Even in America and Britain, lack of motivation in the workforce saw production quality take a dip in the 70s. Also, the smartest minds in Communist countries have more “important” things to worry about…

The Smartest Minds in Communism Nations are/were in Aerospace, Space Exploration, and Warfare

In America and the rest of the “Westernized World” people have the choice to take up any career they want, but in communist nations like the USSR, all the young bright minds were funneled into competing with the US in the Cold War. At first, this was a very effective and the USSR became the first to launch a Satellite into space and successfully detonated the largest Nuclear bomb in human history. While this kept the USSR up with the US in warfare and space technology, the technologies used by the average Vlad lagged behind the US. The United States had so much talent, that they could develop other technologies including computers, various consumer electronics, and in our case automobiles. Another example of Western Society doing better in the automotive industry is West Germany, where awesome manufacturers such as BMW, Porsche, Mercedes, and Volkswagen all hail from. Because of post-World War II restrictions on the German military, engineers in West Germany had to look into other fields. Automobiles became one of West Germany’s primary exports, headed by the success of the Volkswagen Beetle all over the world. In contrast, communist East Germany had the Trabant and Wartburg. The Trabant was not a horrible car for what it was, but it was slow and archaic compared to the cars of West Germany and America at the time. The Wartburg automobiles were better, but underwhelming considering they were meant solely for the upper classes of East Germany, especially party leaders and police. If you want another example, look at North Korea vs. South Korea, where Kia and Hyundai make decent cars. North Korea’s the communist and imperialist regime does not allow anyone except for government officials to own an automobile. North Korea has a strict military first policy which funnels all the money into weapons, even though it is not currently in any real conflict. Most communist countries are military first societies and the lack of freedom provided to the citizenry means that those who want to build and buy cars often could not. To petrolheads, and all rational human beings, this sücks.

The Modern Automobile is Individualistic and Communism is a Collectivist

The automobile is inherently an individualist invention because the automobile is for transporting individuals and their friends or family. The spread of the Automobile to the common man, advanced most by Henry Ford and his Model T, furthered this individualist approach and gave one the right to personal transportation and to travel wherever one desires. These ideas were only ever begrudgingly excepted by some communist states, as the ideal mode of transportation in the communist mindset is a bus or better yet a train. Some communist nations, such as North Korea, even banned car outright for the common man. Capitalism has essentially created the modern car, and has given us all manner of options and models. This means that us common folk can work hard to be able to afford automobiles we truly enjoy, and to modify them to our heart’s greatest desire. Communist cars never seemed to have very many options or models. Options and models were seen as for practical purposes, not to satisfy customers and shift more units. Also, manufacturers were generally owned by the government, meaning there was no competition to drive innovation or even make the cars more enticing.

Communist Countries are Poor

Probably most important of all, buyers of automobiles were always very poor. This meant that every car had to be a people’s car and not good ones at that. Even if more variety is offered on the market, the poverty and impossibility of upward mobility within communist states means everyone must buy the cheapest possible model. The lack of imports for the general consumer is also partially responsible. Maybe economics major and CT moderator “gary” (Kyle Asshdown) could expand on this.

So What about the Lada?

The Lada Riva and 1600 are perhaps two of the best cars the Soviets had to offer, but both were not even Russian designs. The Riva and 1600 were both based on the Fiat 124. Sadly, both are actually worse than the original Fiat. Build quality left much to be desired, and they remained unchanged as Western vehicles continued to evolve. The 1600 and Riva are both charming, but they were clearly held back by Marxism. The Lada Niva was also very good, and an original designed SUV, but this is only due to the fact that Russia was a rugged country, and consumers were becoming quite desperate. The Niva was a brilliant idea, but again the USSR’s deficiency in technology and poor craftsmanship held it back.

"A man buys a Lada but after only one day of ownership returns it to the garage. 'It's no good mate, the car's no good for me,' says the man to the car dealer. 'Why not?' asks the car dealer. 'Do you see that steep hill over there?' says the man, pointing. 'Well it will only get up to 75 up there'. 'That's not bad really sir, especially for a Lada. I can't see a problem with that'. 'Trouble is,' said the man, 'I live at 95'"

"What do you call a Lada driver who says he has a speeding ticket? A liar"

Why China is now the exception.

China has always interpreted Karl Marx’s works differently in their version of communism as opposed to others, chiefly the Soviet Union, and now they exist as a sort of hybrid capitalist-communist state. China wants to keep some elements of communism, but to compete with the rest of the world economically, China opts to allow a free-ish market and allow foreigners into their country to use their workforce and sell them products. Chinese automaker Geely even owns Volvo. China’s powerful workforce and free(ish) market allows them to run a society which reserves absolute power over common citizens and still competes in the global market.

BUT MARX DEBUNKED CAPITALISM YEARS AGO!

If any Marxists are in the audience, I hope you realize the hypocrisy of your idealogy right in front of you. You love your iPhones and Priuses, but just know that if communism ruled the world, you would have none of that. Corrupt as it can be, capitalism has allowed for the creation of not just awesome automobiles, but also the very place you are reading this, the internet, and the very device you view it on. Communist societies never offered such privileges to their citizenry, and even if they did they would not be as good. Everyone needs to know that you shouldn’t just despise communism for how it oppresses people, but furthermore, as a Car person, you should know your passion is not compatible with communism, and communism opposes countless other passions. I can’t imagine the pain of being a car person in a communist nation. I’d like to end by saying that, in my opinion, the core of Marxism boils down to: “If the lower class can’t have a nice thing, nobody can”. To lighten the mood, I have some communist car jokes below and another hilarious parody of Marxists:

"Dad, can I have the car keys?" / "OK, but don't lose them. We will get the car in only seven years!"

"I want to sign up for the waiting list for a car. How long is it?" / "Precisely ten years from today." / "Morning or evening?" / "Why, what difference does it make?" / "The plumber's due in the morning".

"How can you get a Yugo to do 60 miles an hour? Push it over a cliff."

P.S. It really p!sses me off that leaders around the world praised Fidel Castro when he died. He was a tyrannical dictator and under his rule, car people in Cuba have suffered. Only recently has one single racing event per year been allowed. Think about if you would like living in Cuba, having to constantly bend over backward to keep your precious automobile running. #ecarnomics #blogpost
Other sources: James Mays Cars of the People, Top Gear, Wikipedia, and Joe Rogan Podcast ep. 877.