When God left us: the retro-style Japanese cars of the nineties (1/5) - Mitsuoka

Japan, as a country, is known for being a bit weird, and, obviously, that’s a good thing. However, sometimes you get the odd impression that they go a little bit too far.

Mitsuoka often gets a lot of jokes thrown at it, and you can see why. Their cars aren’t exactly beautiful, and, in the case of the Viewt above, are polarising to say the least. Even their attempt at building their own car, rather than bastardising some poor Nissan, couldn’t escape: the Orochi has been described as the ‘world’s ugliest car’, although I have to admit that I quite like it.

Mitsuoka has been in the business of making cars considerably more polarising since the 1980s, and there are many examples that may or may not make you cry tears of blood. Here’s just a few of them for your viewing pleasure!

Mitsuoka Le Seyde

Now. That looks a bit odd, doesn’t it? I mean, if you didn’t look too closely, it would almost look like some weird pre-war yacht for aristocrats that spent more money on napkins than most of the population earned in their lives. But, underneath the weirdness, that, my friends, is a Nissan Silvia S13.

Don’t lie. You can see it, can’t you? I know you can, even though it may hurt you.

Perhaps the best/worst thing is that the car was popular enough that Mitsuoka made the New Le Seyde, based on an S15. Oh, and if you see the letter ‘S’ followed by a number in the early-mid teens, you are sure not to be far away from the word ‘drift’.

Weren’t expecting that, were ya?

Mitsuoka Himiko

Business in the front, party in the back. Some old Morgan at the front, then as you move further back, you can see the surprisingly recognisable shape of an NC MX-5. Like the Le Seyde, the Himiko got brought back for a second generation, an almost pleasing reshape of an ND MX-5.

Come on, that doesn’t look too bad!

Mitsuoka Viewt

This does look too bad. Based on the K11 Micra, and then the K12, and then on the K13, as if we really needed three whole generations of small hatchbacks designed to look like the Jaguar Mark II.

Mitsuoka Ray

You can’t hate this one. You can’t hate anything based on a Mazda Carol, a tiny little kei car that I will willingly describe as cute. If anything, Mitsuoka has added aggression to the poor little thing. The chihuahua has been given steroids.

Mitsuoka Microcars

Ahh, the venerable microcar. As the name suggests, these are tiny little cars that often take advantage of tax breaks, or slightly dangerous loopholes in the law. They were a bit wacky even before Mitsuoka decided to have a go at them, and Mitsuoka took one hell of a go at them.

How about what looks like a golf buggy, only without anywhere to place your bats? You want a K-1, or an MC-1 if you want the authentic, battery powered golf buggy experience. Or maybe you’d like a miniature, convertible version of the Messerschmitt KR200, which was itself already a microcar? The K-2 is for you, my friend. Perhaps it’s a weird, even more retro Caterham-esque thing with the engine from an MX-5 you’re after? A K-3 would be perfect. I think that what you want is a microcar reminiscent of a thirties Grand Prix racer. Well, in that case, you’ve got the K-4. All have been designed and built by the masters of doing stupid shιt with cars.

Mitsuoka has made many more cars over the years, each of which I’m sure are very interesting, but frankly it’s a miracle that I’ve written this much. And anyway, I suspect that at least some of your anguished screams will be so loud I’ll be able to hear them from my bedroom. But the world would be a duller, darker place without Mitsuoka, and at least that we can be thankful for.

#blogpost

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Comments

Anonymous

It says there are going to be five parts to this in the title; tbh I have no idea of that will happen. GCSEs are hard, people!

03/16/2018 - 22:44 |
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Anonymous

Mitsuoka Orochi looks really cool!

03/16/2018 - 23:12 |
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Anonymous

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Ikr! A bit weird maybe, but undeniably cool

03/16/2018 - 23:50 |
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Anonymous

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

I would love to see some aftermarket parts for this, such as bodykits. That would be really cool

04/26/2018 - 18:01 |
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Anonymous

I always had curiosity with all those quirky retro-styled japanese cars

03/16/2018 - 23:52 |
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Anonymous

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

They’re just so interesting, right? I’ve managed to find a whole pile of them to write about, if I have the time…

03/17/2018 - 00:03 |
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Carguyken 918

I always thought those cars look nice but I never knew there were body kits on cars like the Silvia’s and the Miatas. Kind of upset now

03/17/2018 - 02:39 |
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Nameless Ghoul

I actually really like the Himiko. Kudos to them, really. It’s not easy to make a ‘30s-‘50s homage style on a modern car from scratch (look at the PT Cruiser, for example. The Morgan Aero did better, but the crossed eyes looks awful to me). Meanwhile, these guys did well on a Miata.

03/17/2018 - 05:32 |
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Anonymous

Where tf are the Nissan Pao cars?

03/17/2018 - 05:51 |
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Anonymous

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Nothing to do with Mitsuoka. There’s a reason there’s supposed to be five parts to this :)

03/17/2018 - 10:42 |
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hummerinator (Suzuki samurai, lada niva & iveco daily lover)

Very good post

03/17/2018 - 09:51 |
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𝕊𝕋𝟚𝟘𝟚ᴢᴇɴᴋɪ

dank

03/23/2018 - 12:26 |
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omnivoritis

Subaru Impreza casa Blanca

03/28/2018 - 23:37 |
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Yep, one of the cars I’m going to be writing about soon, hopefully :)

03/28/2018 - 23:40 |
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omnivoritis

Also how do you post blog? I can’t do it via mobile, it says I don’t have enough content

03/29/2018 - 04:08 |
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You can’t post blogs with the app, annoyingly. You can only do so with the web version

03/29/2018 - 09:47 |
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