What It's Like To Own An Old Cop Car

What’s black and blue, weighs 4,000lbs, and gives other drivers mini heart attacks?
-A retired Police P71 Interceptor.

If you’ve spent any time in America, you know the fear associated with seeing one of these authoritative land yachts floating down the road, and that’s because the Vic is the most commonly used police vehicle in the US. Chances are, you’ve been pulled over by one, whether it was for speeding or because your “foot slipped.” Regardless, you can’t deny the fact that the Vic is an American icon in its own way. It’s pretty common knowledge that once these squad cars hit retirement, they get publicly auctioned off at liquidation prices. After that, their life continues on as anything from a taxi cab to a daily driver to a race car. They’re versatile, well-maintained, and, above all else, they’re a workhorse.

Why Buy A Police Interceptor?

I didn’t come across my retired Interceptor at an auction, but rather in a private party sale. My reason for buying? I needed something cheap, reliable, and relatively easy to work on after my 300zx broke down yet again. I bought the car for the whopping sum of $900, and I was on my way, cruising down the highway that taxpayers paid for in my car that taxpayers mostly paid off.

For my money, I got a 4.6 2v V8 (as found in the 99-04 Mustang GT), a 4 speed automatic 4R70W transmission, and a posi Ford 8.8 rear end. I even got the ’01 which was the first year of the Vic to feature PI (Performance Improved) heads and intake, which puts the car at around 235 horsepower and 275 ft lbs of torque. Fast? Not particularly, but who can argue with a rear wheel drive V8 car for sub $1k?

What's it like to drive?

Simply put, the Crown Victoria is a boat. This car is one of the last body-on-frame American sedans to be produced, which makes it incredibly heavy, and the body roll is severe enough to knock the noggin off of your in-car bobble head. The motor is torquey, fun, and responsive up to about 2000 rpm, although I have to admit that’s mostly an estimate because the car doesn’t have a tach. The transmission has to be one of the slowest shifting mechanisms on the face of the earth, but it works perfectly under full throttle. The P71 Interceptor, while not being necessarily fast, is no slouch.

Do People Think You're A Cop?

The biggest hurdle of P71 ownership is not learning to drive with the behemoth of a car, but rather learning to live with the fact that everyone thinks you might be a cop (and that they will drive accordingly).

If you hate people hitting their brakes in front of you, the Vic is not for you.
If you rage at people going 5 under the limit around you, the Vic is not for you.
If you can’t take the dirty glances when people realize you’re not a cop,
the Vic. is not. for you.

Until driving the P71, I have never seen so much caution immediately followed by so much fury while driving. It’s hard to believe some people want these cars so they’re perceived as police officers. If anything, it’s a curse.

On the plus side, it’s rare you’ll get cut off or tailgated in the car due to its indimidating nature, and it’s hard not to feel somewhat like a badass when you’re driving 2 tons of steel with a giant push bar out front. It’s extremely reassuring knowing you could destroy most rear bumpers on the road if you saw fit.

Dat Price

Despite the expected physical imperfections that occur after 150k miles of a life spent fighting crime, one thing you find out quickly after purchasing this inexpensive power barge is that everything else becomes ruined by the P71’s bang-for-the-buck factor. The Vic becomes your new currency benchmark for all major purchases because it’s impossible not to compare everything to its price. You’ll see a very reasonably priced car and think to yourself “That costs 3 Crown Vics, what a ripoff.”

How's The Interior?

One thing to understand about this vehicle is that it’s a fleet car. This means the extras could be described as minimal. For creature comforts in the #squadcar, there are heater controls, a radio, and not much else. The one thing that this car does amazingly well, however, is hold cups. It has not two, not four, but an astonishing six cup holders, which doesn’t make much sense considering the car only seats 5. As mentioned earlier, there is no tachometer, but other than that, it’s pretty standard for a sedan.

If you’re looking for trunk space, look no further. It seems the Vic’s trunk could accommodate plenty of luggage, a small family, and a Smart Car. You could probably live in it. Seriously. It’s like a small truck bed.

Overall, the P71 Interceptor is a tank with character. Taking on the ownership of one of these ex-chariots of justice has its ups and downs, but in the end, you’re getting a rear wheel drive V8 with a decent potential for power and a whole lot of presence… and you can’t beat the price.

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Comments

Anonymous

I’ll tell you this much. You can’t kill a Vic no matter how hard you try. The only way it’ll die is if it was in a serious enough accident. The parts will find a way into another Vic and live on

12/09/2015 - 16:37 |
2 | 0
aelfwyne

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Sadly you can kill the suspension on one. My 96 Vic with 130000 miles is collecting dust because the front suspension is shot through and through. Houston Police Dept really mistreated it apparently.

12/11/2015 - 22:27 |
0 | 0
Judge Tredd

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

I don’t believe it, It’s that shitbox dodge again !

12/10/2015 - 01:44 |
4 | 0

Love this episode :)

12/09/2015 - 17:30 |
0 | 0
Anonymous

Id rather my towncar 😏

12/09/2015 - 16:52 |
2 | 0
mikael

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

nice I always preferred this body style to the later ones just got more bland with time.

10/19/2016 - 03:10 |
0 | 0
Anonymous

In Switzerland white or silver stationwagons, mostly Skodas, VWs, BMWs and Subarus all look like potential police cars. Even worse if they have roof racks.

12/09/2015 - 16:53 |
0 | 0
sgt0429

“It’s extremely reassuring knowing you could destroy most rear bumpers on the road if you saw fit.” Never thought to describe the feeling like that but it fits perfect. I haven’t owned a crown vic, but driving my $500 ‘73 lemans felt just like that, just without any other drivers realizing I would win any collision when they cut me off and slam their brakes. The front bumper on that thing stuck out around a foot from the rest of the car and weighed nearly as much as a small hatchback.

12/09/2015 - 17:04 |
1 | 0

Big cars are a beautiful thing in their own right…

12/09/2015 - 17:29 |
1 | 0
Dat Incredible Chadkake

Your idea of a winter beater and my mom’s idea of a winter beater is very different. For you, it’s anything with snow tires, for my parents, it’s something with FWD or AWD.

12/09/2015 - 17:18 |
1 | 0

This doesn’t even have snow tires :)

12/09/2015 - 17:28 |
0 | 0
Lucas Leal

$ 5.000 Rio de Janeiro Police car, (Dacia) Renault Logan

12/09/2015 - 17:20 |
1 | 0
Loui

Want, gonna have to browse my local auctions

12/09/2015 - 17:58 |
0 | 0
RJAY

In Lithuania you can rent one in perfect condition with all decals and lights.

12/09/2015 - 18:27 |
1 | 0
Anonymous

In reply to by RJAY

To buy one you’d spend at least 10-15 grand though :l

12/10/2015 - 03:09 |
0 | 0