Tom Harrison

Double Olympic sprinting champ’ Usain Bolt really enjoys breaking records . And, it seems, BMW M3s. That’s right, M3s. For the second time in three years, Bolt has stuffed £55,000 worth of Bavaria’s finest. Reportedly, Bolt, who’s more or less a superstar in his native Jamaica, was heading home from a party in the small hours when he plowed into a guardrail in Kingston, the country’s capital. No other vehicles are believed to have been involved in the “minor” incident.

“And brake” said Paul, my instructor, as we approached the tight right-hander at the end of the straightaway . I ignored him for a fraction of a second, nudging 90mph before hitting the anchors. Hard. The ABS light blinked at me angrily, the tires squealing in protest as I guided the big ‘Benz CLS63 AMG through the apex.

"The standard Lotus Elise produces 136bhp from a 1.6-litre Toyota four-pot" . Blah, blah, blah. What does that mean in real-life chat, eh? A 0-60 miles an hour sprint of 6.7 seconds. But if you're crazy enough to want a little more oomph, Lotus will gladly outfit your Elise with a 217bhp 1.8, thereby bringing said 0-60 time down to 4.7 seconds. And that’s fast, whichever way you look at it.

This is quite possibly the best news I’ve heard for some time . Nissan has confirmed that they’re going to build a “limited” number of Juke-Rs, the mad-as-a-hatter GTR-based crossover that caused such a media storm when it debuted in Dubai earlier this year. Apparently people were literally “making offers for the original on the street”. That was Dubai remember, if they’d have driven it through say, Romford, I’m sure they’d have had an altogether different response...

If Carlsberg did Motor Shows , they’d probably look an awful lot like Top Marques, the most extravagant display of wealth this side of a Saudi Prince’s lounge. It’s held in Monaco’s Grimaldi Centre over just four days (I heard Luton’s Community Centre just wasn’t available, bummer). Now in its ninth year, the show attracted nearly 35,000 visitors (to put that into perspective, this year’s Geneva Motor Show attracted more than 700,000 people), of which I’m prepared to bet at least three quarters own more cars than I do teeth.

A Mercedes SLS AMG is a little over £168,000 , and that’s before you’ve tackled the notorious options list on which you’ll find a £6k option for “Interior Carbon” (gulp). This could easily see the price of an SLS sky rocket to well over £200,000. That’s a lot even for the impossibly cool, and surprisingly practical, gull-wing doors.

Sorry folks, but “The Biebs” is at it again . Obviously not content with his impossibly shiny Fisker Karma, Mr Bieber has only gone and bought himself a tiny-little smart fortwo. What a tool. Biebs, not the car. We’ve driven the smart fortwo here at CT, all be it a (only slightly) less ostentatious version. Adnan may have loathed the lazy auto' gearbox but overall he found it to be an entirely competent, if not debilitatingly expensive, city car.

Well, it’s finally happened . Audi, the purveyors of big silver saloons for angry businessmen, have stumped up 860 million Euros for legendary Italian motorcycle manufacturer Ducati. And to think Facebook paid only a fraction more for a photo filters iPhone application! The long rumoured sale was announced yesterday, expanding Volkswagen’s portfolio of brands to a staggering, wait for it, 12.

“Are you sure?” said my imaginary salesman , as I specified “Blushing Pink” as the primary hide for my new Rolls Royce Phantom. It would go well, I thought, with the two-tone “Sempahore Yellow” and “Syrah Red” exterior I had just finished personalising. As I leant back in my office chair, I admired my creation.

Even when Toyota first set about designing the GT 86 , they foresaw the unprecedented clamor from tuners to make their mark on the eagerly anticipated coupe. Hence, in Japan, for a whopping £10k less than the UK’s pretty well specced version, you can by a “blank canvas” RC spec’ GT 86 with steel wheels, no airbags and a huge hole in the dashboard where the air-con and stereo should be. There aren’t even any speakers. Further still, the bumpers, wing mirrors and door handles make do with only a coat of primer. Yikes.

If you were to travel back in time and tell the men who designed the very first Land Rovers, Jeeps and the like that one day in the not-too-distant future you’d be able to buy, at great expense no less, a 4x4 thats raison d'être is to be as fast as possible on road, they’d either keel over backwards, or punch you very hard in the face. Personally, I’d hope for the former.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you replaced the wheels of your car with tank-tracks? No, me neither. But that shouldn’t stop us from reveling in the sheer audacity of this fully “tracked” 196,000 mile (blimey!) 2002 Subaru Impreza that popped up on eBay the other day.

Footballers possess skills most of us can't begin to understand. Not when it comes to driving and cars, however...

The Range Rover Sport. Coming soon to a football club near you

That's one less Corsa on the roads. We had to sacrifice an Aston, mind...

They’re coming, gathering menacingly on the periphery of Europe’s automotive industry like a flock of knock-off iPhones. It’s the Attack of the Chinese Clones...