5 Idiotic Mistakes People Make When Trying To Sell A Car Online

Selling a car isn't rocket science, all it takes is a little common sense. Unfortunately the thing about common sense is that it isn't all that common
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Okay CTzens, I have something to get off my chest. And I’m not going to be kind about this either, because it goes way beyond the normal pet peeve for me. I say this because, if any of you are guilty of the things I’m about to describe, you should unplug from the internet and proceed to bury your face in a big yellow book called Selling For Dummies.

You see, the internet might be the single greatest invention since the wheel, but it’s empowered us to do all kinds of things we know nothing about. There’s nobility in the effort, but just like the wheel proved some people should stick to walking, the internet has proven some people should stick to letting other people sell their cars.

Every single day I see at least a dozen pathetic, facepalm-worthy attempts to sell cars. These terrible advert fails officially outnumber the “I told him it was me or the car” memes by like 188 to one. So if you’re guilty of any of the following car selling sins, go buy the book. Read the book. Then come back here and re-read this article. Not only will you have earned the respect of your fellow car brethren, you’ll also earn significantly more money on your sale.

Here are five idiotic mistakes you’ll see all too often in the classifieds…

1. Taking terrible pictures

5 Idiotic Mistakes People Make When Trying To Sell A Car Online

I can’t believe I even need to mention this, yet I see it time and again. If you’re trying to sell a car online, show buyers what it freaking looks like. If you don’t know what makes a good picture, call that one friend who’s always taking photos of everything and let him or her help out. You don’t need hundreds of shots showing every possible angle, but get a couple from each side, front and back, the interior, and the engine.

If you don’t have any friends, here’s a quick photo-taking lesson. Always take pictures with the light behind you. Yes, that could mean you have to move the car to get all angles with light behind you. For interior pictures, it might help to have some extra light inside to actually show some detail instead of glare and shadows. Grab the hand-held shop light you use to change the oil - that’s all you need. Make sure the whole car is actually in the picture; stand close enough to show some detail but don’t stand a block away so the car looks like a tiny spec. Take your time to get these pictures right, because they are the first impression potential buyers will have of your car.

2. Taking pictures at night

5 Idiotic Mistakes People Make When Trying To Sell A Car Online

Yeah, I could’ve easily mentioned this above, but this dumbassery is so epic that it deserves its own special talking point. Don’t. Take. Pictures. At. Night. Remember what I just said about keeping the light behind you? There is no light at night; that’s what makes it night. Street lights won’t illuminate your car properly, and your flash bulb doesn’t count either. Both will create bright spots on the car while other parts are still completely in shadow.

Whenever I see a car advertised with photos taken at night I think one of three things. Firstly, the seller is so desperate to get rid of the car they couldn’t wait a few hours to take proper pictures in daylight. Secondly, I believe the seller is trying to hide damage or a terrible paint job in the hopes of getting people to see it in person. Finally, I think the seller is too lazy to invest even the simplest effort in presenting their car, which again, makes me wonder what else the seller is too lazy to do. In the end it doesn’t matter, because they’re all instant deal breakers.

3. Not mentioning maintenance

5 Idiotic Mistakes People Make When Trying To Sell A Car Online

Nobody wants to buy a crap car, so if you’ve done some maintenance or have maintenance records, say so. You don’t necessarily need to list every single detail, but for crying out loud, maintenance is the first things buyers want to know about. If you can say right off the bat that the car has been well maintained and back it up with even just a few specifics, you are going to get way more attention than just listing all the mods and telling people how fast it is. I’ll never understand how a seller can spend a paragraph talking about ride and handling, yet somehow think the new timing belt or water pump aren’t worth mentioning.

More importantly, you’re going to get attention from serious buyers when you mention maintenance items, and those are the people you want calling or emailing about the car. There’s certainly nothing wrong with listing modifications, but list maintenance items first. That way, when buyers see maintenance before mods, it gives the impression (and rightfully so) that maintenance is more important. Serious buyers like that, and it will absolutely help sell the car.

4. Claiming something's an 'easy fix'

5 Idiotic Mistakes People Make When Trying To Sell A Car Online

Every time someone mentions “easy fix” in an ad I get the urge to find their house and launch tomatoes at the car in question with a water balloon slingshot. Cleaning up high-speed tomato debris is an easy fix; claiming that low compression in the number four cylinder is an easy fix is insulting. Or my favourite: ‘yeah the radiator has a leak but it’s not a problem. Just top off the coolant every week and it’s fine’.

Here’s my beef with the easy fix: nine times out of 10 the seller tried to mend this ‘easy fix’ and discovered it wasn’t so easy. Maybe the problem was more in-depth, or perhaps time and the elements made what should’ve been an easy fix quite difficult. As for the 10th time - why not just fix the easy fix? Not doing so says you’re lazy and not that interested in keeping the car maintained.

5. "I know it's 99 per cent aftermarket, but it's never been abused..."

5 Idiotic Mistakes People Make When Trying To Sell A Car Online

I’m speaking here of the complete and total lie that someone would invest an absurd amount of money to make a car go fast, then never actually go fast with it. If you feel the need to tell the world how you were a perfect angel with this car, then you were probably just the opposite. Spare us all the condescending double-talk - if you built a kick-ass race car then never raced it, turn in your driver’s license and ride the bus. You don’t deserve to drive.

Now, I know there can be some legitimate people out there who have built some seriously fast rides, maybe went for a joyride or two and decided for whatever reason that you didn’t want it. That’s fine, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t at least exercised. Just say it like it is. That’s how real enthusiasts talk, and as a buyer, I’m very happy to buy from another enthusiast. I won’t, however, give the time of day to a self-righteous idiot who claims to have babied a highly modified machine that he’ll only sell to ‘serious shoppers’ who won’t waste his time. Guess what pal? If I’m not worth your time, then your car isn’t worth my cash.

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Comments

Lars Henrik

sills have just been bondoed and painted…..

01/31/2016 - 20:15 |
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gheed

And the “pic taken from snapchat”..

01/31/2016 - 20:16 |
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Anonymous

I drive my car like I stole it, donuts and burnouts at every chance, taking corners sideways, every red light is an opportunity to practice my launch. And when I sell it, I get to put “woman owned” and people will think it was never abused.

01/31/2016 - 20:58 |
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LBanks27

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

and then they dont believe you because you drive a challenger.

02/01/2016 - 01:59 |
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Anonymous

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

it’s more likely that i actually buy that car from a guy who tells that. At least i trust that this can can handle the abuse :D

Women owned…. gosh. That’s a deal-braker for me. 99 times out of 100, that means that all non-standard maintenance is not done. At best oils are changed regularly and interior smells like perfume and mascara but dying alternator bearing? My guess it is not changed.

02/01/2016 - 10:45 |
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Anonymous

My all time favorite, “Women owned! Never raced!”
As I go to look at a WRX and some 22 year old dude is selling it. “Oh yeah, I’m selling it for my mom.”

Honorable mention, “I am military and I need to sell it fast! It needs a little work which is why I want $450 less then blue book but I need to sell it now!”

01/31/2016 - 21:31 |
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Anonymous

I used to have a 96 Audi A4 and there was this prik trying to buy my car drunk. I didn’t realise he was drunk until he took the car for a test drive and when he pulled back into my house he crashed into my garage. I knew him before this and i didn’t like him so i sold him the car for €150 and a week later the head gasket blew, karma’s a b*ch

01/31/2016 - 21:48 |
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Anonymous

And he sold it…

01/31/2016 - 23:35 |
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Chris6

The biggest thing of all, no clutch=not a manual
“manual mode”, and claiming manual but showing automatic ads are the worst

02/01/2016 - 05:53 |
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Dprac1ng

Okay. I’m going to write a mock up ad of how I would sell my car.

1991 Toyota Starlet 1.5 Diesel - $500

This car is a stock-standard model with a 5 speed manual gearbox. (Very nice gearbox!!!)

The car has had the clutch replaced since it has been in my ownership. It’s had the engine out a couple of times to fix small problems that couldn’t be reached. Other than that it’s been pretty reliable. The thermometer doesn’t work anymore, and I haven’t actually looked to see how hard it is to sort out. Obviously oil and water have always been regularly checked since I’ve had it. There is no blue smoke coming out the back so the rings seem to be holding up okay, though it does blow a lot of diesel smoke out the back.

It DOES have alloy wheels, obviously not standard, but they were on the car when I got it. They are looking quite tired, and cleaning them up is pretty much useless. (Badly curbed, though I don’t think it was me!!!)

This car, although looked after when it’s parked on the driveway, has led a pretty rough life while being in our family. Everyone in town knows about the beast that has put a Hilux to shame off road. :D I don’t drive it gently very often… It is sounding a little rough, though I can’t figure out why. Still drives massive distances on a regular basis.

In terms of handling and power, well it has neither. It goes around corners a bit like a canal boat in the high seas, and accelerates slower than a tank. Which gear you go up a hill in is entirely dependant on how much you had for breakfast, and the body roll in the bends would make a rolling pin proud.

If you are looking for a car to get you from A to B in a city, and don’t mind using your left leg a lot, this car is ideal. It’s also a great car to learn to drive in, as being diesel it has great lumps of torque, making it difficult to stall. If you want to track day, i advise you look elsewhere. However, if you want to confuse many MANY people in much faster cars, take this car in to the twisties and be brave. Honestly if you hold on, it will stick. Mostly. I have upset many decent cars in this, because the people driving said cars can’t drive :D

02/01/2016 - 06:04 |
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Lukas Zimmermann

When I wanted to buy my first car, there was a nice looking Opel Astra GTC which I really liked so I went out to take a look at it. As I arrived, I found out the pictures were one year old and that the car was heavily moddified, which the owner didnt tell me. Oh yeah and the “owner” was a 65 year old man who claimed it was his car. When I asked anything about the car he said things like “I never needed that so I dont know where it is or how it works”…yeah sure, you never used the air conditioning, seems legit…
On the other side there are owners that are just way to cool. As I was looking for my recent car (yes an Opel Astra GTC again) I came across a very nice man in his 30s. He got me every picture I wanted to see and even shot some videos of the car for me. If there were any problems with the car he imediatly went to his local repairshop and told me about it afterwards. After a few days of writing and telephoning we set a day where I would come to take a look at the car. So I drove the nearly 650 km there, only to find out that the car got more extras than he had told me. It were just minor things (like an automatic dimming rear view mirror or AFL), but it is awesome to have them. He also said that if anything breaks down (from the problems he told me about) he will pay it afterwards.

02/01/2016 - 09:29 |
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Anonymous

My favourite is “ideal first car” but fail to mention about maybe the brake pads are non existent… 😂

02/01/2016 - 13:02 |
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